Reality Bytes
by CoyoteLoon
Summary: Brad and Tuck are getting the ultimate video game for Christmas. But one of Mrs. Wakeman's inventions makes the game a little too ultimate, and Brad needs Jenny to save him from virtual doom. (complete)
1. Video Games Will Rot Your Brain

Obvious Disclaimer – The characters in this story are from the cartoon "My Life as a Teenage Robot", and spring from the brain of Rob Renzetti.  I am a no-good schnook who's just taking his characters and writing my own little stories with them.  If anybody at Nickelodeon is reading this, please do not sic the lawyer-bots on me.  My sole creation is the character of Drew, a human high school student who was turned into an android by Cluster nanotechnology.  It's explained in the stories "Android Scam" and "Some Like It 'Bot" by CoyoteLoon.  Although he's really a minor character in this one … this is mainly a Jenny/Brad story, with sort of a Christmas theme.  In the spirit of the season, the weatherman would like to warn you that there's a 70% chance of fluff.  We'll see what happens.

* * *

REALITY BYTES

A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic

Chapter One – Video Games Will Rot Your Brain

* * *

Brad leaned out the front door of the house, waving to his Mom and Dad as the car pulled out of the driveway.  With only a few days left until Christmas, they still had plenty of shopping to do, and they would be out for most of the afternoon.  _Which was absolutely perfect_, thought Brad.  The car started heading down the road towards town, and Brad watched it until it was finally out of sight.

"All right, Tuck, they're gone!  Commence search operations!  Go!  Go!  Go!"

"I've got the bedrooms!" yelled Tuck.  He sprinted upstairs.  Brad headed for the hall closet.

Even though their parents were out for more shopping, the brothers knew that some of the presents had already been bought, including some big ones.  Secrets didn't keep very long when Tuck was around and presents were involved.  Tuck went through his parents' bedroom first.  Nothing under the bed.  Nothing in the closets.  But those would be the first places they'd expect him to look.  _Mom and Dad truly are a crafty pair_, he thought.  There could be something in the towel closet.  No, nothing there.  Maybe they had it stashed up in the attic.

"I found some stuff in the pantry," Brad yelled from downstairs, "but nothing that looks big enough!  You having any luck up there?"

"No," Tuck said, a bit annoyed.  "And I _know_ I saw Dad sneak it in.  I've looked everywhere except our bedrooms, and it sure wouldn't be there ..."  Tuck snapped his fingers.  _That's just what they'd want us to think!_  He ran into his bedroom and …

"Eureka!" screamed Tuck!  "Wrapped in a blanket and hidden under my very own bed!  Oh, you really have to give it to Dad.  All this time, I was sleeping right on top of it!"

Brad ran in and dropped next to his little brother.  They unwrapped the blanket to reveal a black and silver box.  The boys just stared with pure joy for a few moments.

"The GameStation 3000X," whispered Brad, in reverent awe.  "The ultimate video game experience.  State of the art 3-D graphics.  High-speed Internet connection.  Stereo surround sound.  They say it has more raw processing power than five monkey brains."

Tuck caressed the box's cover, like a favorite pet.  "There's a warning label for people with heart conditions.  O-o-o-oooh, Brad …"

"Let's get this puppy hooked up!" Brad shouted.

Brad and Tuck raced down to the living room and carefully opened the box, saving all the parts so they could re-package it later, before their parents got home.  It only took them a few minutes to get everything hooked up to the television in the living room, and they were ready for power-on.  The GameStation corporate logo blasted onto the screen in a blizzard of 3D effects and rumbling stereo.  Brad could feel his ribcage vibrate from the subwoofer.  Tuck stared at the visual effects in a hypnotic gaze.  They turned and shared an unspoken thought – _coolest present ever!!!_

Tuck wiped a tear from his eye.  "It's more beautiful than I dared dream."

Brad popped in a game disc, and a few screens later, he and Tuck were blasting away enemy space commandos in video game paradise.  "It just doesn't get any better than this, little bro!" he shouted.

* * *

Mrs. Wakeman was elated.  She hadn't expected this level of success with her latest experiment.  And it was all rather invigorating, as well.  In fact, she had to fight back mild feelings of vertigo.

She was floating in deep space, surrounded on all sides by softly glowing green doors.  There had to be millions of them.  There was no air, but she had no trouble breathing.  It was cool and dark, but the glowing doors filled the universe with a soft, green ambient light.  If she concentrated, she could see green circuitry stretching off to infinity in every direction.  It was a striking visual image in its boldness and simplicity, but not particularly useful as a research tool.  _All right, time to see how well the interface works_.

"Very well then – search engine," she called out.  _This environment is completely disorganized.  Sigh, but then again, that hardly comes a surprise.  Chaos and teenagers do seem to come as a packaged set._

A floating window popped into existence, just off to her right, and a synthesized voice spoke from it.  "Good day, and welcome to Android OS 2000.  Please state your query."

"Oh, remarkable!  Let's see now … fetch me the engineering schematics for the Cluster nano-probe!"

"Working," said the search window.  Less than one second later, Mrs. Wakeman watched one of the small green doors rocket towards her at impossible speed, then stop two feet from her face.  Unfazed, she reached forward and tapped the door, and it disappeared into nothing.  Then she walked through.

On the other side of the door was another universe, wallpapered with mathematical equations floating in mid-air.  Directly in front of Mrs. Wakeman hovered a giant ball-and-pipe structure, glowing various colors, with floating labels pointing to various locations.  Other schematics and images floated off into the distance, showing the same structure from different distances and angles.

"Heavens to Einstein!  This is extraordinary!" shouted Mrs. Wakeman.  "The complete engineering blueprints for the most advanced nanotechnology in the Cluster arsenal!  Oh my stars and garters, I must figure out a way to bring a notepad and a pencil in here."

Suddenly the entire universe _twitched_, just a bit.  It was a bit disorienting, but nothing to seriously worry about.  Still, this was the first time that she'd tried this experiment, and things had already gone better than she would have predicted.  So even though she'd only been in here for ten minutes, Mrs. Wakeman decided it was time to leave and analyze the results of this test run.

She left the room and walked back out into the empty infinity of hovering green doors.  The floating window was waiting for her.  "That's quite enough for today.  Show me the exit port, please," she asked.  A different green pinprick rushed towards her from the edge of the universe and stopped three feet from her nose.  Mrs. Wakeman tapped on the door, and walked through, into a brilliant white light.

* * *

Mrs. Wakeman sure did come up with some pretty strange ideas now and then, but this one was _right_ up there.  They were both sitting in Mrs. Wakeman's laboratory.  Drew waved his arm in front of her face, trying to get her attention.  She was slumped back in her chair, and seemed to be unresponsive.  "Doc?  Doc!  Can you hear me, Doc?  Are you okay?"

Mrs. Wakeman was wearing a bizarre-looking helmet on her head, with a visor that dropped down over her eyes.  It was covered with strange electronics and glowing tubes.  In the back of the helmet, a thick black cable came out and ran down to the floor.  At the other end, ten feet away, the connector was plugged into Drew's gray, metal chest.

Suddenly she flung a pair of triumphant fists into the air.  "Fantastic!  Simply fantastic!  Oh, I must record my findings while they are still fresh in my mind!"  She took off the helmet, and started rummaging in her desk for a pencil.

"Phew," gasped Drew, "you gave me a little bit of a scare there, Doc."

Mrs. Wakeman was still a bit euphoric, and a little dizzy.  She started jotting down notes.  "Complete and total sensory immersion!  Full interaction with the virtual environment!  Seamless interface with the host operating system!  Could have used a thermostat though, it was a bit chilly in there …"

"Dr. Wakeman!" Drew finally got her attention.  "Could you please tell me what just happened?"

"I have been working on this virtual reality helmet for three years now, and have never gotten it to operate satisfactorily," she explained.  "But the unique nature of your synthetic body afforded me an opportunity to test it on a completely different kind of information network.  And it works, by Jove!  It works!"

Drew blinked a few times.  "Okay, remember, high school freshman, here."

"Augh, what are they teaching teenagers in science class these days?" she huffed.  "Andrew, your android body is made up of trillions of nanobots.  It takes a quite a bit to control that many little machines, and scattered throughout your body are tiny molecular supercomputers.  Hundreds of millions of them.  That's why you do not have a brain.  Your brain is spread throughout your entire body."

"Wow, that's … freaky," Drew managed to mutter.  "Sort of like … millions of tiny chocolate chips in a big bowl of cookie dough."

"Not _exactly_ the analogy I might have used, but yes," she said, rolling her eyes.  "Those computers are programmed to be highly adaptive and responsive.  So when I plugged the helmet into your chest, your body created an interface.  And the helmet worked perfectly!  I could visualize your databanks, move about, talk to the OS … it was as if I was literally inside of your body's computer network."

"So you … you were zipping around inside my _mind_?  No offense, Doc, but I'm not sure if I like the sound of that."

"Oh please, relax.  I wasn't looking for anything embarrassing."  She folded her arms.  "I'm a scientist.  There may be large amounts of Cluster information in your brain that could prove useful in forestalling any aggressive actions on their part in the future.  Something to think about in a future session, but for now, I think we'll take a little break.  I want to go over the data from the helmet, and grab a snippet of lunch.  And perhaps a scone with blackberry marmalade!  I do feel like celebrating a bit.  The virtual reality helmet is a smashing success!!!  That will be all, Andrew."

Mrs. Wakeman grabbed a stack of paper readouts and headed for the kitchen.  Drew hadn't known the doctor for long, but he could tell when she wanted company and when she didn't.  _I think she sees me as more of a petri dish than a house guest, anyway.  Eh – scientists.  Whaddaya gonna do?_  Drew let himself out of the Wakeman house, wondering how to kill the rest of the afternoon.  Jenny was off on some emergency call downtown.  Maybe Brad and Tuck were up to something.

* * *

Drew couldn't turn his head from the amazing picture that the GameStation 3000X was putting on the television.  It looked just like an authentic fortress!  The backgrounds were almost photo-realistic!  The trees looked real!  When the space commandos ran, the motion was so _fluid_.  And the explosions – you could almost feel the blast when one of the characters was flung into the air!

"Watch this!" shouted Brad.  His character was standing on top of burning truck.  Brad mashed a series of buttons on his game controller, and his 'commando' somersaulted into the air, firing a rocket gun at a group of enemy fighters.  They blew up – in a _really_ cool way.  Pictures hanging on the wall of the living room vibrated as the explosions rumbled from the speakers.

"Hey," whined Tuck, "I was gonna do that!  I was luring them into a false sense of security!"

"Too slow, Marine!  The legend of the Brad-inator grows.  High score!"

Tuck turned his controller over in his hands.  "I think some of the buttons are sticking on this."

"Now, now, Tuck, it's a poor musician who blames his instrument.  Drew, check out the water effects on this river over here.  If you jump in, the waves are totally realistic.  And watch the branches on this tree when I blow it up.  They swing back and forth like the real thing.  And check out how the laser gun glows when you fire it.  It's the most realistic game machine ever made."

Drew stared lustfully at the GameStation.  "Oo-o-o-oh … It's like … if God played video games, this is what he would have in his living room.  Dude, I call next!"

"No way," laughed Brad, "we just got this thing open!  I need to teach my little brother a lesson in sibling seniority.  Now, see how Tuck _believes_ he's hidden in that factory over there.  Apparently under cover and well protected.  That might be true, were it not for … the Omega Bomb!  Mwa, ha, ha, ha!"

Tuck jumped in his seat.  "What?!?  There's not an Omega Bomb on this world!"

"There is if you turned them on at the start of the game, m'lad.  Voila!"  Brad's space commando pulled a huge bazooka cannon from behind his back, and fired a missile into the air.  It circled for a few seconds, then came down right on top of Tuck, with a wall-shaking explosion.

"AIIGHHH!!!" screamed Tuck.  "You blew me up!  Your own brother!"

Suddenly the front door of the house flew off its hinges with a _blam_.

The boys nearly fell to the floor as Jenny roared into the living room, with a blast of icy wind behind her.  She landed, poised for action.

"Guys, I heard explosions!  Is everyone okay?!?"

Drew got up to his knees.  "Well, I was before that _heart attack_."

Tuck frowned.  "Jenny, there _is_ a doorbell."

Brad leaned back in the sofa.  "I am much more than okay, which is more than I can say for my little soldier of misfortune here, next to me.  Dear Mom and Dad, the Space Marines regret to inform you that your son, Tuck, done got himself blowed up real good!"

"Only because your older, dopier son is a _big cheater_!" added Tuck.

Jenny glanced around the living room.  There were no scorch marks, no debris, no damage … nothing except a bag of potato chips spilled onto the floor.  It didn't make any sense … until she looked at the lasers and plasma rays blasting away on the television.

She smacked her forehead.  "Are you telling me that I rushed over here because of a stupid _video game_?!?  I don't believe you guys!  I could hear the explosions from five hundred feet in the air!"

"Wow!  Five hundred feet?"  Drew and Brad bumped fists.  "Swee-e-eet!"

"A beautiful winter afternoon, and you boys are all sitting around a television set playing make believe war games," Jenny huffed.  "Well, I'm finally done with the latest crisis downtown.  There's fresh snow falling outside.  I thought it might be fun to go sledding on the big hill by the pond.  I saw a whole bunch of kids over there, while I was flying home."

Brad was staring at the TV.  "Eh … we went sledding last week.  I've got a record score going here, and I don't want to lose it."

"But it's snowing right now," Jenny said, a little surprised at Brad's answer.  "Brad, last week you said that fresh snow was the best snow for sledding.  I bet we can break our speed record today!"

"It'll snow again sometime."  _Zap!  Blam!  Kaboom!_

"I don't believe this!  You can play that stupid video game anytime!"

Tuck gasped.  "She speaks ill of the game!  Blasphemy!"

"We'll forgive her this time," chuckled Brad.  "Now prepare for another taste of defeat, short stuff."

"Can you at least _look_ at me when you're talking to me?" said Jenny.  She was getting a little angry.  "I realize I'm not as interesting as your big laser battle game, but maybe you could tear your attention away for _five seconds_?!?"

Brad finally hit the pause button, and turned around.  "Jenny, what's the big problem?  Tuck and I wanted to try out our new GameStation.  When our parents get back, we won't be able to play it again until after Christmas.  You can play with us if you want to.  We'll go sledding _some other time_.  There's three more months of winter, y'know."

Jenny balled her fists, and stomped her feet.  "Fine!  Play your stupid Lame-Station!  I couldn't care less!"  And with that, she _clanked_ heavily out the front door.

Brad, Tuck, and Drew looked at each other silently for a few moments.

"I didn't realize that she liked sledding _that much_," said Drew.

"It's not that," groaned Brad.  "She's been acting kind of moody like that for the past week or so.  I can't figure out why.  I asked her if there was anything wrong, or if she was fighting with her mom – well, more than usual – and she says there's nothing wrong, and then gets all mad.  Go figure."  He rolled his eyes.  "I think I have an easier time understanding the robot part than I do the girl part."

"Yeah, yeah, enough with the soap opera," interrupted Tuck.  "Are we gonna play or what?"

"You're on," laughed Brad, un-pausing the game. 

The mayhem continued, as once more the living room was filled with the zaps, booms, and rumbles of plasma fire and shock grenades.  "Check it out," said Brad.  "If you use up all your weapons, you can fight in hand-to-hand combat.  Of course, it's a little hard to control with this game pad."  Brad experimented with his space commando, who clumsily swung in the wrong direction and got knocked on his back by an enemy fighter.

"Ha, ha!  Your commando fights like a girl," laughed Tuck.  "Didn't I hear somebody say something once about 'it's a poor musician who blames his instrument'?"

"Well the controls _totally_ don't make any sense for using your fists.  Where are the instructions?"

"You know, I saw these things on a GameStation TV commercial called Senso-Gloves," said Tuck.  "You wear them like normal gloves, and they plug right into the GameStation.  And you control your character with your own hands!  Maybe Mom and Dad bought them too!"

A flash of inspiration struck Drew.  He grinned at Brad and Tuck.

"Gentlemen, I believe I can do better than that."

"What do you mean?" asked Brad.

"I'll see your Senso-Gloves and raise you … one Virtual Reality Helmet."

Brad's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he grinned like a hyena.  "Tell me _more_."

* * *

Jenny stood in her front yard, alone, staring across the street.  Big, fat snowflakes were drifting lazily through the air.  A few flakes stuck to her cheek, and after a few seconds, a thin layer of slush started to form on her face, shoulders, and pigtails.  She didn't bother wiping it off.

She was watching a family, out hanging Christmas decorations on their front porch.  The father looked like he had spent the day stringing lights all over the house, and the children had built a family of snowmen on the front yard.  The mother was hanging a large wreath on the front door.

"Mmmm … I just love the smell of fresh pine branches," said the mother.  Jenny was a bit ashamed to be eavesdropping, but it was easy to do with super robot hearing.

"I love the smell of that pumpkin pie!" laughed the little girl.  "Can I have a piece before dinner?"

"Come on, everyone," said the father.  "Get inside and I'll get a fire going.  Nothing feels better than a crackling fire on a cold winter night."

The little girl and her brother ran inside with a squeal, and the father wrapped his arms around his wife's waist.  He laughed, and pointed to the top of the door, where he'd just hung a sprig of mistletoe.  They gave each other a quick, playful kiss, and disappeared into their happy home, unaware that Jenny was even watching them.

Jenny sighed, and a small tear froze in the corner of her eye.  Then she heard a voice from behind her.

"Uh … Jen?  H'lo?"  Drew had walked out of Brad's house, and was waving to get her attention.

"Oh.  Hey, Drew."  _How long was he standing there?_

"I'm just heading over to your mom's lab for a second and …"  Drew looked a bit concerned.  "Are you just going to … stand out here in the cold?  We figured you were heading over to the sledding hill."

"No, I thought I'd just stand here and let the snow cover me," she said sarcastically.  "How to make a snow robot, the easy way."

"Uh … all right, then.  Sorry to bother you."  Drew slunk away.

"Wait a minute," Jenny groaned, and slumped her shoulders.  "I'm sorry.  I might as well go inside too, everybody else is."  She slowly trudged a few steps, then stopped.  "Drew, can I ask you a silly question?"

"You might get a silly answer.  Fire away."

"Does it feel cold out to you?"

That _did_ seem like a silly question.  "Well I guess so.  I mean, it's … I'd call it twenty-six and a half degrees.  I'd say that's cold."

"It's twenty-six point four degrees.  Your sensors need to be tuned up," she chuckled softly.  "But do you _feel_ cold?"

Drew wasn't sure where this was going.  "Well, no, I don't.  I suppose I really don't _ever_ feel hot or cold anymore, ever since my overhaul," he joked, referring to his transformation into an android.

"Do you miss it?"

He shrugged.  "It's not really something I've given a lot of thought, to be honest.  It's actually kind of nice not to have to worry about getting cold."

"You don't miss the feeling of a cool breeze on your cheek?  Or a snowflake melting on your tongue?"

"Like I said, never really thought about it."

"That stupid Brad," she grumbled.  "He can come out here and enjoy the taste of the snow, and the feel of the wind, anytime he wants.  He doesn't know how lucky he is.  And he doesn't even care!  He and his dumb brother would rather rot their brains playing video games."

Drew arched an eyebrow, a little mystified.  "Jenny, is something wrong?"

"I'm fine," Jenny harrumphed, and then changed the subject.  "Let's just get inside.  Why are you heading over to my mom's lab, anyway?"

"Wha?  Oh, I'm going to borrow a little something we were testing together this afternoon.  Your mom invented a cool virtual reality helmet.  I think I can get it hooked up to Brad's new GameStation."

"Arghhhh," groaned Jenny, as she and Drew walked in the Wakeman house.  _I don't know which I hate worse, that silly video game or that stupid helmet_.  "Is my mom trying to get that thing working again?"

"You know about the helmet?" asked Drew.

"_Know_ about it?  At one time, she wanted to install a receiver for that stupid helmet inside of _me_," Jenny explained.  "She never got it to work, so she put in the video screen that unfolds from my chest.  You think it's a drag to have your mother pop out of your chest and embarrass you in front of everybody?  Imagine having her pop into your _brain_."

"Well, I figured we might give this baby a little _field test_."  Drew lifted the helmet and tucked it under his arm.

"Knock yourselves out," said Jenny.  "Get back to your fellow space commandos, or whatever."

"All righty, then.  See you later."  Drew left the house and sprinted excitedly back to Brad's place, eager to hook that stupid helmet up to that stupid game.  _Boys and their toys_.

_Well, good riddance to them_.  She was in a mood to be alone right now, anyway.  Jenny clunked her way upstairs towards her bedroom.  _I suppose I'll just listen to some music for the afternoon.  As long as it doesn't have anything to do with Christmas._

Why did she feel that way?  Why did she feel worse and worse the closer it got to Christmas?  She stopped at the top of the steps and looked out a window, back at the house across the street.  Everybody always seemed so busy and happy this time of year.  Everybody went to parties and gave each other presents.  Everything was decorated with bright colors and blinking lights.  It all seemed so wonderful.  Everybody seemed to feel wonderful.  _I suppose it really does feel wonderful.  I wouldn't know_.

Smoke started to drift out of the chimney.  Apparently, the father had gotten that crackling fire started in the fireplace.  _I wonder if it feels warm_.

_I wonder what 'warm' feels like_.

She lost track of time, and finally realized that she'd been staring out the window for fifteen minutes.  Jenny sighed, and dragged her feet towards her room.

Then she heard a soft moan coming from down the hall.  It was coming from her mother's bedroom.  _Hmmm, Mom's usually in the lab this time of day_.

Jenny peeked into her mother's bedroom.  Mrs. Wakeman was lying on the bed, with an icepack covering her forehead.  She moaned again, and started rubbing her temples.

"Mom?  Are you all right?" asked Jenny, suddenly a little concerned.

Mrs. Wakeman was a bit startled, but waved her in.  "Oh, hello there, XJ-9 – I assume everything went well with the eggnog tanker spill on the bridge downtown?  I'll be all right in a few minutes.  I just have a rather nasty headache, that's all.  Nothing a little ibuprofen won't clear up.  _Ohhhhhh_."  She shifted the icepack on her head, covering her eyes.

"You need to learn how to _mellow out_, Mom.  You're probably just working too hard."

"One of us has to, young lady," grumbled Mrs. Wakeman.  "I just need to take a break from my virtual reality helmet experiment."

"Oh," said Jenny, playing dumb.  "You're working on _that_ thing again.  Did you get it to work?"

"Work?  I should say so.  In fact, the confounded contraption works _too well_."

Something about _that_ didn't sound good.  "How can it work _too_ well?"

Mrs. Wakeman took off the icepack so she could look at Jenny while she spoke.  "I was testing it on your friend Andrew, and the helmet made a perfect connection to his internal network.  So perfect, in fact, that all of my brain's sensory input was redirected from my own body to the helmet's connection.  It was all very enthralling, to say the least.  _Ohhhhhh_.  But I suppose I'm paying for it now with this headache.  It just came over me a few minutes after I ended the session."

"Wow.  How long did you have it on?"

"Oh, perhaps ten minutes."

"_Ten minutes?!?_  What would happen if you wore it for an hour or two?"

Mrs. Wakeman actually laughed, then winced in pain.  "Oh, for heaven's sake.  If I had left that helmet on for two hours, my brain would have become permanently _connected_ to the virtual reality signal, and permanently _disconnected_ from my own nervous system!  _Ohhhhhh_.  That helmet could turn somebody into a drooling, mindless vegetable if they weren't careful.  You would spend the rest of your life feeding me mashed apricots through a funnel!  And I don't think either of us would enjoy that."

She patted Jenny's hand, and plopped the icepack back on her face.  "But, fortunately, the experiment was concluded successfully, and the virtual reality helmet is sitting downstairs in the laboratory, safe and sound."

Jenny gulped hard, very glad that her mom couldn't see the look on her face.  "Yeah … heh-heh … safe and sound."  _Oh, no, what have the boys gotten themselves into?_

* * *

Continued in Chapter Two

* * *


	2. A Meeting Of The Minds

* * *

Reality Bytes

A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic

Chapter Two – A Meeting Of The Minds

* * *

Brad quietly brushed aside dangling vines and big, leafy ferns, making his way around the perimeter of the enemy base.  He crouched as he walked, taking care not to step on any dry twigs that might snap and give away his position.  Even in the fading twilight of the day, the heat of the jungle had sweat trickling down his face.  It only added to the rank dampness hanging in the air from the steamy humidity.  Brad chuckled, raised a finger to wipe off a drop of sweat from his cheek, and touched it to his tongue.  _It even tastes salty!  Oh man, how awesome is that!_

He flipped down a small eyepiece from his headband, which displayed tactical information and a small map of his immediate surroundings.  He had fully charged energy packs loaded into both of his lasers, plus a couple of spares if he needed them.  He'd already taken out two dozen enemy commandos, and he was going for more.  A small stone building stood about fifty yards in front of him, with carvings that might have been ancient Aztec.  The enemy was using it for shelter … _at least for another ten seconds_, Brad chuckled to himself.

"All right," he whispered to himself, "outnumbered twenty to one … just the way I likes it!  Time to kick butt and chew bubble gum.  And I'm all outta gum!"  He reached behind his back, pulled out the plasma grenade launcher, and steadied it on his shoulder.  The eyepiece made aiming easy.

Brad pulled the trigger four times.  Three of the grenades sailed through a small window in the stone building and exploded.  The fourth blew up on the outside, sending chunks of stone spraying over the entire area.  He was a little disappointed that he hadn't managed to put all four in the window, but three grenades did the job quite nicely.

He jumped from his hiding place in the jungle and ran towards the building with lasers drawn and ready.  Right on cue, half a dozen cartoonishly muscular commandos came out of the stone building, scorched and dazed from the explosions, running straight into Brad's gunsights.  Bright crimson blasts of energy danced from both pistols as Brad took care of the first four commandos.  One of the enemies managed to get to his weapon, and started shooting back.  Brad dove and rolled on his shoulder – _oh yeah, that's a seriously cool move_ – and zapped him right in the chest, along with his buddy.  He jumped to his feet, heart pounding.  "Six up and six down!  Boo-yah!"  He grabbed his grenade launcher, started playing it like an air guitar, and duck-walked into the remains of the stone building.

* * *

Tuck rolled his eyes.  "Oh, come on.  What a show-off!"  He was still mad that he had to sit back and let Brad be the first to use Mrs. Wakeman's virtual reality helmet.  Brad always used the "older brother" line to be the first at everything!  He leaned over and shouted into his brother's ear.  "Showboat!  Hot dog!"

"You know, I don't think he can hear you," puzzled Drew.  "Man, that is seriously weird!"

Brad was leaning back on the sofa, looking incredibly relaxed, especially considering that he was focusing on dodging razor rifles and concussion blasters.  They couldn't see his eyes; they were behind the visor of the VR helmet.  But he could've been asleep, for all the expression there was on his face.  And he wasn't budging so much as a finger.

"Hey look," said Drew, pointing to the TV set.  "He's waving at us!"

Brad was jumping up and down, shouting in the general direction of the sky.  "Tuck!  Drew!  This – so – totally – rocks!  It rocks in stereo!  It feels like I'm actually in the game's jungle world!  Woohoo!  And check out that score, little brother!"

"Yeah, yeah," Tuck groaned to himself, folding his arms.  "New high score.  Big deal!"  Although seeing Brad jump around in the game world only made Tuck want his turn on the helmet even more …

Suddenly Drew and Tuck were startled by loud, frantic pounding on the front door.  It flew open, and Jenny ran into the living room, waving her arms to get their attention.

"Guys!  Guys, you've got to give back my mom's helmet!"

"Sorry, Jenny," said Tuck, "I called dibbs after Brad.  Well, well, well … our new GameStation isn't so stupid all of the sudden now, hmm?"

"Tuck, that's not what I … oh, no."  _I'm too late_.

Brad was on the sofa, limp as a rag doll, wearing her mother's virtual reality helmet.  The cable from the back of the helmet ran down and plugged into Drew's chest, as it had earlier in the afternoon at Mrs. Wakeman's lab.  But now, two fingers from Drew's left hand were stretched out into silver cables, and plugged into the back of the brothers' new GameStation 3000X.  Drew's nanobot body was acting like a connector.

"I don't believe you guys!" shouted Jenny.  "That's a dangerous piece of experimental machinery, and you're using it to play video games!  You're hopeless!"

"Well, I told you that's what we were going to do," huffed Drew.  "See, your mom told me that the computers in my body are all super-adaptive.  So I figured, if they'll adapt to the VR helmet, why wouldn't they adapt to the GameStation?  I'm like, ultimate computer duct tape!  Check it out!"  He gestured to the television.

"Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait," said Tuck, waving his arms.  "Jenny, what was the word you just used?"

"Experimental?" she asked.

"No, no, before that."

"Dangerous?"

"Yup, that's what I thought," Tuck said calmly.  Then he clutched at his hair and screamed.  "What do you mean, _dangerous_?!?!?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you – the helmet _is_ dangerous," explained Jenny.  "Drew, after you left, I went upstairs and found my mom zonked out in her bedroom.  The helmet _did_ that to her!  She said that if somebody wears the helmet for too long, it could put them in a coma … or turn them into a spaced-out vegetable!"

Drew's face sunk.  "Are you serious?"

She nodded frantically.  "Brad has to get out of there as soon as possible!"

"Well, no arguments here," said Tuck.  "It's my turn anyway."  He reached over to take the helmet off of Brad's head.

"NO!!!" screamed Jenny.  Her arms stretched outward, shoving Tuck away from Brad, and onto the floor.  Tuck rubbed his bottom and gave her a nasty look.

"I'm sorry Tuck," Jenny apologized, "but you can't just _take_ the helmet off of him!  That's not the way it works.  Right now, Brad's brain is 'unplugged' from his own body, and 'plugged' into the helmet.  He has to 'plug it' back into his own body by himself, or … or he's going to be like _that_ forever!"  A small trickle of drool was starting to form at the corner of Brad's mouth.

Tuck started to get a little concerned for his brother.  "Well, how do we tell him to come out?  I don't think he can hear any of us."

Jenny turned to Drew.  "Brad's practically running around _inside_ of you right now!  Can't you get a message to him?!?"

Drew gulped, hard.  "I don't know a lot about how my body's computers work – they just sort of do things on their own.  It's hard to explain.  I can give them orders, but they take care of the details by themselves.  The virtual world we're seeing on the TV right now is … well, the closest word I can think of is, it's all happening down in my subconscious.  Trying to talk to Brad for me right now would be a little like trying to talk to somebody in a dream.  Or in my own imagination."  He shrugged his shoulders.  "I _told_ you it was hard to explain."

"So we just have to wait until he gets out on his own," she said.  Then she had another horrible thought.  "Does he even _know_ how to get out?!?"

Drew and Tuck exchanged an uncomfortable look.  "Okaaaay," said Drew, "I _may not_ have thought this through as completely as one might assume."

Jenny threw her hands in the air and rolled her eyes.  "Unbelievable."

"So that's it?!?"  Tucked flung his arms around Brad's neck.  "My brother is just going to waste away into a drooling couch zombie, trapped in a fantasy video-game world, doomed to be lost to us forever?"  Tuck gave Brad a brotherly hug, then his eyes lit up.  "I get his room."

Jenny looked down at Brad's expressionless face.  She was so mad, and so worried right now, that she might lose her best friend for such a stupid reason … then she got an idea.

"That's not going to happen, Tuck," said Jenny, with a commanding tone in her voice.  "Somebody has to go in there and help get Brad out.  And that somebody is _me_."

"Your mom has another helmet?" asked Tuck.  "Why didn't you bring both of them over, Drew?  We could've played head-to-head!"

"There's only one helmet, and Brad's wearing it.  But we don't need another one."  She sat down on the couch next to Brad, and turned to Drew.  "Okay, Mister Duct Tape.  You're connecting a human brain, a virtual reality helmet, and a video game machine.  Think you have room in there for a robot?"

Drew grimaced, and was quiet for a few seconds.  "Yeah … yeah, that would probably work.  We both have computer brains … sort of … yeah, this should work."

Tuck didn't understand what they were talking about.  "What should work?!?"

"Drew can make a connector like the one on the diagnostics machine in my bedroom," explained Jenny.  "So I can go into your video game here and show Brad how to get back into his own body."

"I'm not sure if I like this," said Drew, shaking his head.  "Jenny, the same thing that's happening to Brad might start happening to you.  You might get stuck in there with your brain unplugged.  If I can just figure out a way to get a message to him …"

"And how long is that going to take?  And does Brad have that much time?" 

Drew sighed, and realized that she was right.  He lifted his right arm, and it started to warble with silver-green patterns over its surface.  The arm grew flexible and stretched into a cable, and his hand expanded into a cone-shaped helmet.

Jenny's pigtails _whirred_ on their pivots, and snapped together on top of her head.  "Ready."

"Wait!" yelled Tuck.  "Jenny, how much do you even _know_ about this video game?"

"What's to know?  You shoot things.  It's not exactly rocket science," she answered.  "Besides, I'm not going in to play.  I'm just going in to find Brad and get him out of there.  I don't care about winning the game."

"You're going to need a map to find him though," Tuck explained.  "Look, trust me.  I play video games all the time.  Once you get in there, press the menu button and get a map.  That way you can find your way around.  Brad is Player One, so look for his symbol."

"Right.  Player One," said Jenny.  _I'm sure Tuck thinks he's being helpful, but I'll be fine_.  "Let's go."

Drew lowered the cone-shaped helmet over Jenny's pigtails, until it clamped and made a connection with a loud clicking sound.  They both shuddered for a split-second as information signals started flowing at high-speed from Jenny's electronic brain, through Drew's arm, into the mass of computers scattered throughout his body.  Then Jenny's robotic body went limp and motionless, and sunk back into the couch next to Brad.  Drew clenched his teeth nervously as Jenny's eyes flickered, then disappeared, replaced with flickering static.  He glanced down at his body, more than a little freaked out.  _Well, she's inside there now.  Good luck, Jenny_.

* * *

Jenny was surrounded by brilliant light for a split second, and the living room suddenly winked out of existence, as if somebody flipped a light switch.  She had the briefest sensation that she was dissolving into a cloud of nothingness, and then, just as suddenly, she felt herself drop a few inches to land on very solid ground – in a hot, steamy jungle.

She folded her arms and whistled – she had to admit that it was amazingly realistic.  Exotic plants and trees stretched off in every direction, in thousands and thousands of shades of green.  There was a background of chirps, caws, and hoots from jungle wildlife.  Her sensors indicated high levels of humidity and temperature.  She'd been in a real jungle before, once, saving a dozen villages from some mudslides.  And the make-believe world she stood in now was very, very close to the real thing.

Jenny turned around, and saw that she was standing in front of an Aztec pyramid.  _Well, I sure won't have any trouble finding my way back to where I started from_, she thought.  _Now, let's make sure that I can actually get us out of here_.

She tried to remember the tests her mother ran with the helmet a few years ago.  What was the command?  "Operating System," she spoke out loud, "show me the exit port, please!"

A circle of green light glowed on the ground a few feet away from her, and a ghostly figure rose up.  Jenny was a little frightened, until the translucent figure solidified into a person.  And not just any person – it was Drew!  Although he did look a little strange.  He was wearing blue coveralls and a tool belt filled with large pipe wrenches.  He wore a baseball cap with "Android OS 2000" stenciled on it.  And he was holding a plunger!

"Drew, you made it in, too!"  She chuckled.  "Love the outfit."

"Drew" rolled his eyes.  "Look, lady, somebody call for the Operating System or _not_?  Because I got places to be and things to do, know what I mean?"

"Hey, I just said I liked your outfit.  You don't have to be so _snarky_ about it," she said.

"Snarky?  You want snarky?  I got yer snarky _right here_," he said with a thick Bronx accent, tapping the plunger in his hand.  Then he stopped, and snapped his fingers.  "Wait a minute – you called me 'Drew'!  You think I'm from upstairs, from the consciousness.  Heh, heh, heh.  No such luck, lady.  You called for the Operating System, and dat's who you got.  That's "OS" for short.  Call me Ozzie."

"You mean, you're not Drew?  You're – part of his brain?  That is so totally weird!" said Jenny, a bit amused.  "Why do you look like a plumber?"

"What is dis, twenty questions here?  Look, this mook's got hundreds of millions of computers in his body, all talkin' to each other, all gotta be connected together, all gotta have data flowing back and forth.  All of dat, plus now a fancy schmancy video game and, what, two players?"  Ozzie waved his arms, to emphasize his burden.  "I'm workin' my tail off here!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sure you are," Jenny chuckled.  "Well, I'm here to help you take a load off.  I just want to go find Brad – er, Player One – and get us both out of here, and back into our bodies.  I called to make sure that I could find an exit port."

"Not a problem," said Ozzie.  "You are currently standing at yer entry point to da game.  Observe."  Just a few feet behind Jenny, another pale green light glowed in mid-air, and expanded into a rectangular green door.  Ozzie made a sweeping, theatrical gesture towards it.  "Just tap on the door, and yer on your way back to Kansas."

Jenny sighed in relief, instantly feeling a lot better.  Her idea would work, and getting out of this strange virtual world shouldn't be too much of a problem.  "That's great!  Oh wait – um, _Ozzie_ – I'm supposed to ask you for a map, so I can find my way around this place."

"What do I look like, a tour guide?" he growled.  "I just handle the connections, lady.  Youse want anything in the game, you gotta get it from the Menu.  Now if you'll excuse me, I gots a nasty data clog that needs my attention."  And clutching his plunger, the Operating System faded back into the ground.

"All right, that was _extremely_ bizarre," Jenny said to herself.  _Might as well get started.  He said to use the menu_.  She looked around, and walked in a small circle, but didn't see anything that might be a computer terminal or screen that she could use.

She planted her fists on her hips with a _clank_, a bit frustrated.  "If there's no computer terminal, how am I supposed to look at the menu …"

As soon as the word "menu" came out of her mouth, another green circle of light flashed into existence a few feet away from her.  Once again, a translucent figure rose up and solidified into solid form.  It was another copy of Drew – but this time, he looked like a formal waiter!  He wore a long black jacket with tails, a white shirt and black tie, had a towel draped over his sleeve, and even had a thin mustache under his nose.  _I guess this is another piece of the software in Drew's mind.  This is so freaky!_

"Drew" stood ramrod-straight.  "Good evening Madame, I'll be your Menu," he said, in a cultured accent.  "We have a lovely selection of power-ups and weaponry available.  I'm told that the electron shock rifle is particularly lethal this evening ..."

Jenny was getting a chuckle out of this fellow too, but she had to focus.  "Never mind that, I don't need any extra firepower.  I need a map.  I need to find Player One.  And I need to make sure that I can find my way back here!"

"Very good," said Menu.  He held out his hand, and with a flash of light, a small yellow sphere manifested in his palm.  He handed it to Jenny.  "If Madame would be so kind as to gently tap it?"

Jenny did just that, and the yellow sphere expanded into hovering 3-D image, showing a map of the surrounding terrain.  There were solid and blinking dots in a variety of colors.  "Madame is the white dot," explained Menu.  "Your home base is the blue triangle, and your selected target – that would be Player One – is the red dot.  It does look like he's some distance away at the moment, in enemy territory."

"That looks easy enough," she said confidently.  "I'll just fly straight to the red dot – pick up 'the Bradster' – and be right back here before you know it.  See you later, Menu."

The waiter arched an eyebrow, which seemed to be the limit of his emotional range.  "Is Madame _certain_ there will be nothing else?  Perhaps a standard compliment of food, equipment, and ammunition?  Or a quick tutorial on …"

But Jenny had already pivoted her pigtails to flight configuration.  With a blast of exhaust, and clutching the map in her hand, she rocketed into the skies above the lush, steamy jungle.

* * *

Jenny was trying to make sense of direction and distance in this phony world.  Her internal navigation system didn't seem to be working well; it was hard simply keeping track of which way was north.  She was starting to match up some of the features she'd seen in the holographic image to the ground passing below her, though.  That river below marked the border between the "good guys" and the "bad guys".  Jenny sailed overhead, into "enemy territory".

She stopped and opened up the floating map again, looking for the red dot.  _Let's see where Brad's gotten himself to now_, she groaned.  _I'm going to kick his butt!  What's the big attraction in sneaking around this icky, humid jungle?  I can practically feel myself rusting away, just hanging here in mid-air!_

A series of whining laser blasts sounded off in the distance.  She glanced at the map … the blasts were coming from the general direction of Brad's red dot.  _Uh-oh … Brad's in trouble … Okay, okay, I'll save his life first.  Then I'll kick his butt._

Jenny added the rockets in her feet to her pigtail-jets, and blasted off in the direction of Brad's signal, diving down to skim the treetops.

She was surprised by a burst of shimmering purple energy bolts that sliced up towards her from somewhere in the jungle below.  They didn't come close, but Jenny started seeing larger and larger numbers of enemy troops the deeper she got into enemy territory, and more and more of them started taking random shots at her.  _Great, I may not want to play the game, but these computer bozos don't know that_.

Jenny popped up over a dense grove of palm trees, and suddenly she was over a clearing with military tents and vehicles.  Dozens of computerized commandos ran in every direction, scrambling to action.  She'd flown right into one of the main enemy bases.  Within seconds, a dozen heavy weapons turned towards the sky and opened fire on her.

She dodged the blasts of glowing plasma balls for a few seconds, then stopped and laughed at herself.  _What am I doing?  This is a video game.  These silly things can't hurt …_

A "imaginary" plasma ball caught her square in the chest, blasting her backwards into the trunk of a tall palm tree, snapping it in half.  Dazed and surprised, Jenny tumbled down to the ground with a _thud_, grimacing.  _Cripes, that sure felt real enough!_

She got up to her knees, as more laser fire from the enemy commandos started kicking up puffs of dirt around her.  Apparently the concept of "taking prisoners" wasn't part of this game.  She deployed a pair of laser rifles from each elbow and got ready to fight …

But suddenly, one of the enemy plasma cannons started firing again – at the _other_ enemy plasma cannons.  The commandos froze in their tracks, stunned, as a series of plasma balls sent their weapons and buildings soaring in the jungle sky on billowing pillars of flame.  They opened fire on the rogue plasma cannon, and bolts of red laser energy shrieked back in reply.  Jenny shielded her eyes from the glare, trying to make out the figure standing behind the hijacked plasma cannon.

"Hey, Jenny!  Welcome to the party!  Wooo-haaaa!"

Jenny rolled her eyes.  "Oh, for crying out loud."

Brad leapt off of the cannon's barrel, somersaulted ten feet in the air, and landed in the middle of three commandos, leveling them each with one laser shot.  "Wow, I didn't think you'd want to play with us, Jen!  This is _awesome_!"  He fired off another pair of shots.  "That was a great distraction you caused – but the object of the game is _not_ to get yourself blasted!  You've got to keep moving!  Come on, gimme a little help here!"

"Distraction!?!  Brad, I'm not here to play!" she shouted.  "I'm here to get you out!"

"The Space Marines don't pull back, soldier!" laughed Brad.  "We're pressing forward!  The enemy headquarters is just over there!  That's where they keep the secret weapon!"

"Brad, will you listen to me for a second?"

But Brad ran had run off towards the enemy headquarters, ducking for cover behind a stack of wooden crates.

There were still plenty of enemy commandos running around, explosions mushrooming into the air, and gunfire zinging around in a whole bunch of directions.  It wasn't the best time to strike up a conversation, and Jenny balled her fists in frustration.  _All right, if I have to take out a bunch of video goons to end this, then here we go_.

Jenny's lasers roared to life, spraying blue streaks of energy in a wide arc, sending a dozen enemy commandos falling to the ground.  She leapt back in the air, dodging scattered fire, looking for anything that didn't look like Brad.  _That's the way these silly games work, isn't it?  You just shoot at everything that moves?_  One creative enemy commando pointed a grenade launcher at her, and fired.  She caught the grenade in mid-air, and nonchalantly tossed it towards a fortified gun turret, blowing it into pixels and polygons with a thundering boom.

That had been easy enough.  She retracted one of the lasers, and deployed a loudspeaker.  "All right, Brad, that's the last of them.  Now let's get out of this stupid place before …"

Brad rolled out from behind the boxes, and ran towards the enemy headquarters.  "All right, Jen!  See, you're a natural at this!  But on this world, there's always two guards left who try to surprise you at the end, when you think you've won!  Stick with me and watch!"

She was rapidly losing her patience.  "Brad, will you just forget about the stupid game and _listen to me!!!_"

Two bolts of laser rifle fire rang out from the windows of the enemy headquarters, cutting off Jenny's words.  Brad rolled on his shoulder – _man, I love that move!_ – and lunged into the front door, ready for a little room-to-room close-in action.  He started stalking down the two remaining enemy guards.

Outside the building, Jenny was furious.  "I'm going to haul you out of there by your _hair_ if you don't stop horsing around and listen to me!"  She dropped back down to the ground, and heard two laser shots ring out from inside.

Jenny stomped into the headquarters building.  Brad was clowning around in the command room, where five enemy "generals" were lying on the floor with their hands over their heads in surrender.  He jumped up on a lighted map table and struck a pose with his rifles.  "I came, I saw … I kicked some serious booty!  Thank you very much folks!  You've been a lovely audience!"

"BRAD!!!" she screamed.  "Listen to me for just – one – second."

"Sure, Jen, what is it?"

She gasped in relief.  "_Finally!_  I'm trying to tell you that you've got to get out of here!"

Brad was trying to open a large set of locked doors on one wall of the command room.  "My thoughts exactly," he grinned.  "But not without this little souvenir!  This is what I came here for."

"Arrrghhh … no, I mean you're in danger!"

"No kidding – the reinforcements will be here in seconds."  Brad grabbed – _some_ piece of equipment – out of the locked cabinet.  They looked like a ridiculously oversized pair of football shoulder pads.  Brad slid them on over his head.

Jenny's face started to turn red.  "Brad!  If you don't get out of this world right now, you are _going to die_!"

They heard sounds of laser fire hitting the outside of the building.  Shouting voices grew nearer.

He smiled confidently, and reached into a pocket on his pants.  Brad pulled out a bronze cylinder with a shining orange button, and tossed it casually in his hand.  "That's why I picked up a teleporter on the way here."  He held the cylinder in one hand, and grabbed Jenny's arm with the other.  "Hop on board, Jen!  We're heading to the next world!  This is going to be a blast!"

"Brad!!!  NO!!!  I only have a map for _this_ world!"

Brad mashed the orange button with his thumb, and they were surrounded by a pulsating sphere of white light.  Their bodies started to dematerialize into shimmering particles, and before Jenny could say another word, they were gone.

* * *

Continued in Chapter Three

* * *


	3. The Grass Is Always Greener

* * *

Reality Bytes

A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic

Chapter Three – The Grass Is Always Greener

* * *

Drew stared at the television, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.  "I thought I saw them both run into a building – then the screen just flashed 'Level Complete'!  What just happened?  Where are they?"

Tuck tapped his chin.  "Looks like they finished the jungle game-world, and they're heading for the next one.  I thought Jenny was in big hurry to get in and get out!  What, so now she's going to hang around and play the game too?  No fair!"

"Jenny's not in there to play games."  Drew looked over at Brad and Jenny's motionless bodies, lying on the couch.  "So what's the next game-world?"

"After Jungle World comes … umm … Post-Apocalyptic City."

"Wow, sounds lovely."  He looked at the television.  "Come on guys, get out of there."

* * *

The white light pulsed with almost blinding intensity, then quickly faded away.  The dark greens of the jungle were replaced with the grays and browns of broken brick and concrete.  With a final sharp crack, their bodies coalesced back into solid form.  Brad and Jenny were standing in front of a bombed-out public library, looking out on a war-torn city street that was littered with burned-out cars and broken glass.  The sky was blotted out by the silhouettes of gray, decaying skyscrapers.

Brad grinned, and rubbed his hands together.  "All right Jenny, get ready for action!  It's five years after World War Six, and the only thing standing between the world and total anarchy is … yours truly!  And, you too, of course."

Jenny buried her head in her hands.  "Brad, you idiot!  I don't believe it … now we're lost in here!"

"Pffft!  We're not _lost_," laughed Brad.  "All we gotta do is …"

Jenny grabbed Brad by the shoulders, and shook him to get his attention.  "Forget about the game.  Forget about the _stupid_ game, will you?" she said angrily.  "You're in danger.  Real danger.  Out in the real world.  Remember the _real_ world?  Not this play world, where you're running around like a three year old.  The one where you're lying on the couch with a bucket on your head, drooling on your chin!"

Brad pulled away, a little shocked, and a little upset.  "What are you talking about?  I can't be in any real danger here."

"My mom's virtual reality helmet!  It causes brain damage the longer you wear it.  I've been _trying_ to tell you," she growled.

"B-brain damage? … but I feel fine, Jen.  Are you sure?"

Jenny didn't answer him.  She cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted into the air, "Operating System!  _Ozzie_!  We need you!"

Brad jumped back in surprise as a disk of green light flashed on the ground in front of him, and a figure rose up out of the ground.  A figure that looked like Drew, dressed up as a plumber.  He had his fingers stuck in his ears.  "Fer cryin' out loud, lady, knock it off!  You think I live on the moon or somethin'?  I can hears ya just fine!"

"Ha, ha!  Look at this!" laughed Brad.  "Drew, after you're done unclogging the sink, do you want to …"

"Brad, this is Ozzie," explained Jenny.  "He's the operating system that runs the computers inside Drew's body.  I know, I know … it's a little strange.  Look, we need an exit port back to the outside.  So we can get back into our own brains!"

"I already _showed_ you the exit port."  Ozzie looked around, taking in their surroundings.  "Heh, heh.  I guess dames really _are_ bad with directions.  You're not even close to it!  What do ya think you're doing?"

"Arrrghhh …." Jenny ignored the remark, and tried to calm down.  "We're in a different _world_ now.  It was an accident.  A _stupid_ one," she said, glaring at Brad.  "We need an exit port, here."

Ozzie rubbed his chin.  "Hmmm.  Might take some doin'."  He saw the shocked look on Jenny's face, and continued.  "Look, this fella here …", he pointed to Brad, "… his brain is already starting to get all blended in with the game software.  It's gonna take me a little time to round up all the pieces."

Brad tugged at his collar.  "I don't like hearing the words 'brain' and 'blended' in the same sentence."

Ozzie shrugged his shoulders.  "Yeah, figure you've been in here, what, thirty-nine minutes?  The longer ya stay, the harder it'll be to get you out.  You too, lady.  Tells ya what … I'm going to have to put the exit port at the end of this here world."

"At the enemy camp?" Brad protested.  "That's crawling with mercenaries!  Why do you have to put it there?"

"'Cause it's already a natural connection – from this world to the next.  All I gots to do just re-route yas to the outside, and voila," Ozzie said, waving a pipe wrench.  "You get started now, and I'll have it done by the time you get there."  And with that, Ozzie faded into translucent green photons, and sunk into the ground.

Jenny folded her arms, and gave Brad a foul look, tapping her foot.

"Okay, now, before you start, how was I supposed to know that the helmet was dangerous?" asked Brad, trying to defend himself.

"It _takes control of your brain_.  That doesn't sound _dangerous_?"  She flung her arms in the air.  "And now we have to go through this whole city, looking for the way out!"

Brad smiled back at her confidently.  "Okay, so?  We zip to the enemy camp, open a can of hurt on some cybernetic mercenaries, walk through the exit port and we're home free.  No problem!"

"Right.  No problem," she said sarcastically.  "Do you even know the way there?"

"I've played on this world lots of times.  It's in the biggest skyscraper in town.  Can't miss it."

"Fine," she huffed.  Jenny rotated her pigtails to flight mode, and deployed her wings and booster rockets.  "Just hold onto my back, and I'll have us there in no time."

"That _won't_ be necessary, Jen," grinned Brad.

He tapped a button on the front of the giant shoulder pads he was wearing.  With a shudder and a whine, metallic sections started to extend down his arms, and envelop his hands in oversize gloves.  More sections started snapping in place around his torso, and continued down his legs, unfolding into a pair of large metal boots that came up to his knees.  A helmet clamped onto his head, and an orange-tinted visor dropped down in front of his eyes.  Brad was now enveloped in robotic body armor, from head to toe.

"Behold the secret weapon," he laughed.  "The Exo-Suit 500-D!  The 'D' stands for … dangerous!"

"I don't _believe_ you," groaned Jenny.  "Will you stop worrying about playing the stupid game, already!"

"Hey, when in Rome, Jen.  Besides, this _is_ the fastest way to the skyscraper.  Oh man, this is awesome beyond words!"  Brad flexed and walked around in the robot suit, testing it out.

"Brad, that toy isn't going to help us."

"So you think it's a _toy_, huh?  Then just try and keep up with me!"

Brad leaned forward slightly, and a large panel opened up in the armor on his back.  Two rocket motors unfolded and deployed, then roared to life with searing orange flame.  "Woo-hoooo!!"  He punched the air dramatically with his fist, and shot into the sky, soaring upwards towards the crumbling office towers.

Jenny just stared up at him for a few seconds, shaking her head.

She revved the turbines in her pigtails up to power.  "The last thing I want is to lose track of him again," she groaned.  Her pigtail-jets ignited along with her booster rockets, and she flew into the air after Brad and his exo-suit.  She actually had to nudge up her thruster power to catch up with him.

Brad rocketed through the sky of the burned-out city, fifty feet above the broken streets of the ruined metropolis.  Walls of mangled steel and shattered glass flashed by on either side of him, almost too fast to be seen by the human eye.  It may have been a virtual world, but Brad could feel his heartbeat quicken from the adrenaline rush.  He slalomed around the looming towers, going faster and faster.

Jenny finally started gaining on him, but all the weaving and swerving was starting to annoy her.  _I'm trying to save his life, and he's up there goofing around in that robot suit_.  She put on a burst of speed, and finally caught up to Brad.

"Brad!" she shouted over to him.  "Will you quit kidding around?"

"Hey hey!" he laughed.  "Long time no see, slowpoke!"

"We'll get out of here faster if we fly straight instead of doing all this twisting and turning!"  Jenny reached over and grabbed the back of Brad's exo-suit.  The she pulled into a climb, carrying him high above the buildings and skyscrapers.

Brad was caught by surprise, but he recovered and shook himself free of Jenny's grip.  "What is your problem today, Jenny?" he asked angrily, hovering a few feet in front of her.

"What's the big idea zigzagging all over the place like a maniac?"

"I know what I'm doing, Jen.  What's the matter, can't keep up with me?"

"We'll get to the exit portal faster if we fly straight.  Smarten up!"

"We shouldn't fly way up here.  And stop talking to me like I'm a little kid!"

"No problem, once you stop acting like it!"

"Jenny, the reason we can't fly up high is …"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.  A stream of heavy gunfire started flying in their direction, first from one rooftop, then two, then eight.  The video game characters were "intelligent" enough to recognize them as a threat, and alert each other to their presence.  It didn't take long for a couple of pulses of violet laser fire to find their target, knocking Brad and Jenny out of the sky.  They plummeted straight towards the roof of a mid-sized office building, and smashed right through it.  They plowed through two more floors, finally coming to rest in a plain-looking office lobby, now filled with dust, smoke, and chunks of debris.

Brad sat up, picked a ceiling tile off of his face, and glared angrily at Jenny.  "… the reason we can't fly up high is _because_ there are guns on every rooftop.  Just thought you'd like to know!  I _told_ you I've played this game lots of times!"

Jenny slowly got to her feet, and deployed a hand broom from her wrist to dust herself off.  "All right, all right, you're the big video game expert.  I should have listened to you.  I'm _sooo_ sorry."

Brad shouted with frustration.  "Augh!  Okay, what do you want?  Do you want me to say I'm sorry that we're both stuck in here?  Fine.  I'm sorry.  Do you want me to say it's all my fault?  It's all my fault!  There, I said it!"

Jenny glared back at him.  "This never would have happened if we'd all just gone outside like I wanted to, instead of playing your stupid game."

"Well, when we get out of this stupid game," Brad said in a low voice, "you can go sledding until your circuits freeze over.  Maybe that'll make you happy."

They exchanged cold, angry stares, and said nothing for a few moments.

"Let's go find the exit port," snarled Brad.

"The sooner the better," Jenny answered frigidly.

* * *

Now that the game characters were alerted to an approach from the air, Jenny and Brad stuck to the streets of the city, sneaking along the roads and back alleys, drawing closer to the tallest skyscraper in the city, where the enemy base – and the portal to the real world – resided.  They were focusing on speed, and had managed to avoid most of the mercenaries, but there was a major intersection just ahead, and it was patrolled by laser-toting outlaws on motorcycles.  They were going to have to fight their way through – after all, this was a video game, and the game was trying to give them opponents to fight.

Brad peeked over the hood of a broken-down car, counting the bikers.  "Twelve of them.  If we attack at the same time, it confuses them.  And we have to get them all, or else the survivors will go for help.  Understand?"  It was the first words they'd exchanged in a while.

Jenny gave him a cold stare and didn't answer.  She deployed her lasers from her elbows.  Brad's robotic exo-suit deployed a pair of short laser cannons from his wrist housings.  "Now," he said.

They leapt from their hiding place with guns blasting, vaporizing enemies into virtual electrons.  Four of the bikers went down instantly.  Half of the rest roared towards Jenny, and started circling her.  She stretched an arm out, and grabbed the huge motorbike out from under the massive biker, sending him flying through the air.  The other bikers pulled out maces and started swinging them menacingly.  Jenny used the motorcycle in her hands like a club, and flattened the rest of the bikers in a matter of seconds.

The four bikers who attacked Brad came at him with shotguns blazing.  The shotgun blasts bounced harmlessly off of his armor.  There was a burnt-out armored police van sitting at the side of the intersection.  He dodged a charge from one biker, and made it to the police van in one power-assisted jump.  He ripped off the side of the van in his hands, and used it like a shield.  With the laser cannon in his other hand, he blasted the tires on the four bikes, and they crashed to a halt on top of one another.  Brad grinned, lifted the rest of the police van over his head, and hurled it on top of the pile of downed bikers.  All twelve bikers taken care of.

Jenny started to run up the street – they were only two blocks away from the skyscraper – but Brad called her over, pointing to the sky.  They could hear hovercraft approaching.  "Shock Patrols," he explained.  "They saw the commotion.  They're dangerous.  We should lie low for a minute or two."

They ran into a nearby deserted restaurant, and kept in the shadows as searchlights swept the street below.  Jenny saw that Brad had a huge grin on his face.  Brad noticed her watching him.  He was still miffed at her, but –

"I've always wanted to know what that feels like," he said.

Jenny was trying to stay mad too, but curiosity got the better of her.  "Like what feels like?"

"Bullets bouncing off my chest.  Kickin' butt and takin' names."  He started grinning wider, despite himself.  "Being stronger than everybody else.  Why do you think I love video games so much?"

Brad sat on the floor, and sighed.  Jenny knelt down and crossed her legs.  "Jenny," he said, "I like video games because they're about a thousand times more exciting than what passes for my excuse of a life.  When Drew told me about the virtual reality helmet, I knew I had to play this game – this particular game – because of this thing."  He tapped on his metallic chest plate.  "The game's robotic exo-suit.  It's so real in here – all the sensations and feelings are so real.  Flying through the city.  Tossing a nine-ton van like a baseball!  It's the closest I'll ever get to knowing what it feels like to be a super-powered robot … like you."

Jenny was a little taken back.  It wasn't what she expected to hear.

"All the weapons, all the powers.  Knowing what it feels like to be strong, and powerful, and never being afraid of anything.  Knowing that you can handle absolutely anything that comes at you.  Knowing that you're special … like you are, Jen."  His head sunk a bit.  "Anyways, I suppose it does sound pretty lame, now that I've said it.  After all, it's just make-believe."

They were quiet for a few moments, as a pair of hovercraft whined by overhead.

Brad reached for a compartment in his exo-suit, and pulled out a pair of white bottles with red crosses on them.  "It's a bottle of health.  That's how the game lets you heal damage after a fight.  Here."  He tossed one over to her.

Brad glugged his bottle dry in a few seconds.  "Huh!  It tastes like a vanilla milkshake."

Jenny looked at her bottle suspiciously, then poured it in her mouth.  When she finished, her pigtails drooped, and she looked down at the floor.  "Mine doesn't taste like anything.  Even in here." 

She fidgeted with the empty bottle in her hands.  "Brad, I guess I'm sort of flattered that you think I'm special.  But I can't imagine why you'd _ever_ want to be like me.  All I want is to be _normal_, like you.  Or at least to know what it's like to be normal.  I'd trade every rocket and laser in my body to know – that this stuff tasted like a vanilla milkshake."

Jenny closed her eyes, and wrapped her hands around her knees, clutching them to her chest.  "You and Tuck are so excited about this game – your _Christmas_ present.  I keep hearing _everyone_ talk about what they want for Christmas.  Do you know what I want for Christmas?"

She paused a moment, then continued.  "I hear people talk, about how wonderful the smell of fresh cooked turkey is, or the taste of Christmas cookies, or even the feeling of snow down the back of your neck.  And I realize that I'll never, ever know what any of that feels like.  But at Christmas, I always get this … I get this crazy idea that maybe, just maybe, the next time I catch a snowflake on my tongue, I'll actually be able to taste it.  Then next time a cold breeze blows on my face, maybe I'll actually be able feel it.  The next time I see a wreath of pine braches on a door, maybe this time, I'll actually be able to smell it."  The corner of her mouth quivered a bit.  "And every Christmas, I get disappointed.  I guess it's really pretty silly."

Brad was a little confused.  "Is that why you were so hung up on going sledding?  You were hoping to feel the snow and smell the trees?  Jen, I thought you got over this after the whole pain/tickle thing.  Sure, snow on your face feels kind of neat, but frostbite on your toes feels lousy."

"It's not the snow, or the food, or the trees … it's the feeling that people seem to get from it this time of year.  I can't even figure out what it is.  I don't even know what I want to feel!"  Tears welled up in Jenny's eyes, and she slumped back against the wall.  "For me – Christmas is all about watching other people be happy together, and knowing that it's something that's never going to happen to me."

Brad couldn't offer anything more than a sympathetic look.  "Jen, I wish I could say that I understood.  All I know is, my best friend is depressed at Christmas, and I'll do whatever I can to make things better.  Maybe my folks will invite you and your mom over for Christmas dinner."

Jenny smiled at the idea.  "My mom, at Christmas dinner.  She'd probably run a chemical analysis on the turkey instead of eating it.  No, Mom says that 'Evil does not take holidays, and neither shall we!'  But thanks for the thought, anyway."

He glanced out the windows, and saw that the hovercraft had wandered off.  "Looks like the air patrols are gone.  One last attack, and we'll be on our way home."  He smirked at Jenny.  "Shouldn't be a problem for the amazing team of Jenny and … the _Brad-inator_."  He flexed his metallic arms, hamming it up for her.  "Hasta la vista, bay-bee.  Come with me iff you vant to live."

She laughed – it was hard to stay mad at him.  "Let's get going, then."

* * *

Drew rocked back and forth nervously, as if pure willpower could help speed Brad and Jenny along towards the end of the game.  "Man, they've been in there over an hour.  Where's the end of this level?  What's the hold-up?"

Tuck folded his arms.  "Y'know, if I was the one wearing the helmet, I would've already been out by now.  Brad always has trouble finishing this level.  Even _with_ the robot suit."

"I feel as useless as a …"  He was cut off by a loud, ominous creaking sound.  It seemed to come from the roof.

Tuck clutched onto a sofa pillow.  "Wh-wh-what was that?"

"Relax, Tuck.  I think it's just the wind.  Is it still snowing out?"

"Yeah, I think so."  He ran over to the big window and climbed up on a footstool to look outside.  Tree branches were starting to sway back and forth, and there was four inches of snow on the roads.  "Wow, it's really starting to come down out there!"

* * *

Brad and Jenny had snuck up to the third story of the building directly across from the giant skyscraper.  Her eyes were extended outward like telescopes, surveying the area below.  The plaza was filled with overturned vehicles and scattered oil-drum fires, and over a hundred ragtag mercenaries.  There were four gray, rusting tanks parked in what used to be a fountain, their engines rumbling at the ready, their barrels pointed outward.  The skyscraper was gaudily decorated with floodlights and neon signs.  Small groups of mercenaries were enjoying rowdy celebrations, tossing bottles into the air, and shooting burnt-out cars for target practice.

"A-ha," she declared, "I think I found what we're looking for."  Amongst the graffiti sprayed on the walls of the skyscraper's entrance, there was a small, green flashing neon sign with an arrow which read "Club Ozzie – Room 42."

She rolled her eyes.  "Even Drew's operating system has a weird sense of humor.  Ready, Brad?"

Doors slid open on the exo-suit's wrists and boots, deploying lasers and flamethrowers.  A small missile rack sprung up from Brad's back, and pointed over his head.  He lowered the visor down over his eyes.  "Let's rock and roll, Jen."  Despite himself, he giggled.  "This is gonna be so cool!"

"Oh, please – robot rookie," she chuckled back.

Two pairs of rocket motors ignited, and the two robots roared out of the office building with lasers blasting.  Since this was the end of a game-world, the mercenaries were alert, and returned fire immediately.  Shafts of sizzling laser fire screamed through the sky around them as they swooped down, picking off computerized opponents.  Jenny deployed two huge loudspeakers from her pigtails, and unleashed a crippling wave of ultrasonic pulses on the crowd below.  The mercenaries dropped to their knees, dazed, with their hands over their ears.

The tanks were still fine though, and one of them swung its long gun barrel around.  It fired a glowing plasma ball that ripped through the air between Brad and Jenny.  The other three tanks followed, and started to rumble out of the broken fountain, looking for maneuvering room.  "We need to take care of the tanks first!" shouted Brad.

Jenny swung her arms together, and they quickly combined and unfolded into a large deflector panel.  One of the tanks fired another plasma ball at her.  Jenny's deflector struck back with a massive magnetic pulse.  The plasma ball stopped in mid-air, and reversed course, blowing up the tank that had fired the shot.

"Swe-ee-eet!" shouted Brad.  "I wanna do one!"  He flew around and landed on top of the turret of the furthest tank from behind.  It was aiming at Jenny, and was just about to unleash another plasma ball at her.  Just as it fired, Brad jumped and pushed down on the barrel of the tank's gun, pointing it directly at the back end of the tank just in front of it.  The plasma ball meant for Jenny ripped into the tank instead.  It mushroomed into the sky on a column of spectacular flame.

Jenny dropped to the ground, directly behind the only other remaining tank.  It tried to drive forward, but Jenny grabbed onto the back of its chassis, holding it in place.  Its heavy treads spun up chunks up pavement, but it still couldn't move.  She looked over at Brad, and shouted, "Come on, Brad, you know you want to!"

Brad somersaulted backwards until he was directly behind his tank too.  Mustering all the power the exo-suit could provide, he lodged his hands underneath the tank's body.  Brad grit his teeth, grunted, and heaved with all his robotically enhanced might.  The massive tank flipped over onto its side, then tumbled over upside-down, its treads spinning helplessly in the air.  Jenny lofted her tank into the air, too.  It flipped over three times, and landed on top of Brad's tank.

Brad grinned at her.  "Show-off!"  She laughed, and stuck her tongue out at him.

A new wave of laser fire reminded them that there were still plenty of game opponents to fight through, but the tanks were gone now, and they had a major advantage.  They didn't care about scoring points or winning the game.  They just needed to get to the door of Club Ozzie, which – hopefully – was the exit port that Drew's operating system had set up for them.

"Got an idea," said Jenny.  She ripped the turret off of one of the burning tanks, and lifted it over her head.  "Let's get inside!  We have to find Room 42."  Brad took care of the mercenaries with his lasers, while Jenny ran behind, holding a ten-ton tank turret over her head.  As they ran inside, she dropped the turret behind them, sealing off the entrance to the skyscraper.

"Pretty slick, Jen," smiled Brad.  "There's another arrow up ahead!"  A pointing green neon sign read "Club Ozzie This Way."

The lobby was filled with more partying bikers and mercenaries, all packing serious hardware.  In such close quarters, Brad and Jenny couldn't help but take some laser hits, but they still dished out more than they took.  Jenny leveled one half of the lobby with a blast of wind from huge propellers in her elbows.  Brad launched tear-gas grenades that had the rest of the rowdies doubled over in agony.

They turned the corner, following the neon sign.  Room thirty-six … room thirty-eight …

Jenny saw a familiar face, and grinned with triumph.  Ozzie was standing just ahead of them, in his plumber's outfit and ball cap, with his plunger slung over his shoulder.  "Well, ya took yer own sweet time getting' here," he moaned.  "Whadja do, stop for cheeseburgers?"

Brad took a deep breath, and laughed.  "Well, it's been pretty amazing.  I'd love to stay and chat, Ozzie, but there's about three dozen post-apocalyptic bikers right behind us."

"Sure, whatever," said Ozzie.  "Now, here's what ya gotta do.  It's simple.  Go inside, an' there's two green doors.  The lady goes to the left, and you goes to the …"

Ozzie froze, and flickered on and off like a bad television signal.

Jenny's smile faded away.  "What in the world …"

The lights in the skyscraper dimmed, and then the floors and the walls started to hiss and flicker.  Ozzie looked at the ceiling, which was turning the color of television static.  "Holy motherboards, dis could be a problem."

* * *

Drew's head snapped upright.  "Did the lights just flicker on and off?"

"Yeah, I think so," said Tuck, looking at the floor lamp.  It was on now, but …

A strong gust of wind blew outside, and they heard the walls of the house creak again.  Somewhere out in the winter storm, an heavy branch was waving in the wind, burdened with a heavy load of ice.  It came into occasional contact with a main power line.  This strong gust proved to be too much for the overstressed branch, though, and it finally snapped off.  It landed across the power lines, short circuiting them.

All the houses on the street instantly went dark.

The lights snapped off in the living room.  Drew and Tuck stared in horror as the image of Brad and Jenny disappeared from the television screen, which faded to black.

* * *

Continued in Chapter Four

* * *

A/N - If you enjoyed this chapter – heck, if you hated it – please leave a review!  I'd especially like to know if you thought the conversation worked, was there too much dialog, not enough, you know.  Thanks!


	4. Coming Apart At The Seams

* * *

Reality Bytes

A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic

Chapter Four – Coming Apart At The Seams

* * *

Every light and appliance in the house was off.  Drew and Tuck stared in disbelief at the pitch-black TV screen.  Brad and Jenny had been mere seconds away from escaping the virtual reality world and returning to their own physical bodies.  But now …

Tears started to roll down Tuck's cheeks.  "Are they … _gone_?"

Drew snapped out of his state of shock and tried to focus his attention inward.  "I run on my own internal power, Tuck, so I they're not gone.  But the game doesn't … man, things are really messed up in there."

There was a quick flicker of light in the room, then the power came back on to stay.  "Look, the game is restarting!"  Tuck said hopefully.  "Everything's going to be all right!  Isn't it?"

"I don't know," he said, frustrated.  "Arghh, I can't do anything from the outside!  I've gotta try something – don't even know if this is going to work.  Tuck, try not to get _too_ freaked out by this."

Drew's head flowed into a silver liquid, and collapsed into his neck.  His torso and legs went liquid too, and his android form started to melt away.  With a soft _schhlloorrrrp_, Drew flowed into a simple cone-shape next to the TV, still connected to the VR helmet, Jenny's pigtails, and the GameStation.

Tuck stared silently for a few seconds, then he managed to get his mouth working again.  "No, why on earth would I get freaked out by that?"

* * *

The universe exploded into a billion different shapes and colors.  Brad was sucked down into an dark abyss, and floated lazily through infinite emptiness.  Then he felt himself yanked in one direction, as if he'd been hooked on a fishing line.  He hurtled towards a shining point of light.  Blizzards of green flecks – trillions of trillions of them – screamed past him like miniature comets, all rushing towards the light.  It grew, to the size of planet, shimmering with a faint silver color.  Brad could do nothing to slow himself down, and he closed his eyes just before he slammed into the sphere's shining surface …

His body shivered, then he felt solid ground underneath his back.  Excited voices were talking and shouting all around him.  Brad sat up, blinking his eyes, and saw another copy of "Drew" kneeling beside him, wearing a white doctor's coat.  Ozzie – the operating system – was standing next to the doctor, talking to four _more_ copies of Drew, who looked like carpenters.

"All right, ya got one of them back," Ozzie shouted at the doctor.  "Get to work on the lady!"

Brad tried to make sense of what was going on.  The world seemed to have gone insane.  Hills and fields rolled and heaved like ocean waves.  Chunks of landscape evaporated into colored polygons.  Trees sprouted from the ground and grew to full height in mere seconds.  The sky crackled with a reddish-orange glow.  The laws of physics and perspective seemed to have been turned off at the moment, and he felt like he was sitting in some weird modern painting.

Brad got to his feet, and patted himself to make sure he was actually there.  He was a bit surprised to hear the clank of metal, then realized that he was still wearing the Exo-Suit 500-D from the previous game world.  And other than being _weirded out_, he felt pretty good.  "Wow, that beats a roller coaster any day of the week, huh, Jen?"

There was no answer.  He'd just assumed that she was there too … but he didn't see her.  He approached Ozzie, who was still busy with the other "Drews".  "Hey, where's Jenny?" he interrupted.

"She's right over there, mostly."  Ozzie looked stressed.  "Now if yas don't mind, we're trying to rebuild the universe here!"

On the ground, a few yards away, the doctor was hunched over a pale, motionless figure.  Brad ran over with a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.  The figure was almost too ghostly to identify, but a flicker of light highlighted its outline.  There was no mistaking it – it was Jenny.

"Oh, no!" Brad shouted.  "What's going on?!?  What's wrong with her!?"

The doctor was working feverishly, looking very concerned.  "Please step back, sir.  Her core patterns seem to be fine, but I'm having trouble re-integrating her … it looks like her interface was corrupted by the power spike."

_Whatever that means_.  "You've got to save her!  Do _something_!  Let me help!"

"I'm doing everything possible to …"  The doctor froze, and snapped his fingers.  "Are you serious about helping her?  You're fully re-integrated and stable now.  I can do a health transplant from your body to hers.  You _will_ lose half of your health … and she might experience some unusual side effects."

Brad nodded enthusiastically.  "Just do whatever it takes, Doc!"

With a flash, a giant syringe manifested in the doctor's hand.  He surprised Brad by plunging it into his chest, right through the armor.  Oddly, it didn't hurt – it didn't even feel like a needle.  The doctor pulled it back out, and the syringe was filled with a glowing blue liquid.  He lowered it to Jenny's ghostly figure, and injected it into her body.  It spread along her torso to her head, arms, and legs, and she gradually solidified, until she was all the way back.

Jenny sat up, propping herself up with her arms.  "Wow," she moaned, "I hope I never have to do anything like _that_ again – hey, this doesn't look like the living room."  She looked around at the bizarre condition of the world around her, and rolled her eyes.  Brad was standing over her, still in his robotic exo-suit.  "Oh, great.  We're still in the game, aren't we, Brad?"

Brad stared back at her, dumbstruck.  "J – Juh –"

Jenny got to her feet, and brushed off her arms.  She was feeling a little odd.  "What just happened?  We were on our way out, and …"

"And there was a wicked huge power outage, is what happened," answered Ozzie, walking over to join them.  "You two are lucky I'm such a perfessional.  The whole place nearly got wiped out.  I gots Construction working on repairs but, eh, you can see for yourselves, things ain't lookin' so good."  Ozzie lifted a walkie-talkie to his mouth.  "I don't care what he says, tell that lazy subroutine if the terrain ain't done in the next twenty nanoseconds, I'm gonna delete his sorry butt!"

Millions of polygons dropped out of space above, and locked together as if completing a giant jigsaw puzzle.  The landscape was still rolling and heaving, but started taking on the appearance of a forest of evergreens.  Tree-covered hills stretched towards the horizon, where a single, snow-capped mountain was rising into a screeching green sky.

Ozzie shook his head.  "The only world we could salvage without a doing a full reboot was 'Mountain Assault' – the final game world.  And I'm not sure how long we're gonna be able to hold it together.  It's not real stable."  Then he scratched his head, studying Jenny.  "You do somethin' to your hair?"

Brad was still staring at Jenny, stone-faced.  "J – Juh – Jen – "

Jenny rolled her eyes – now neither of them was making sense.  "Look, can you make another one of those exit portal thingies?" she asked Ozzie.

Ozzie clutched his hat in his hands.  "It's gonna be even tougher to hook up dis time around.  The exit port has gotta go at the end of dis world – on the top of dat mountain.  I'm sorry.  Now I gotta go – things are still screwy in the central simulation algorithm."

With that, Ozzie, the carpenters, the workmen, and the doctor all faded away into green photons.  Brad and Jenny were suddenly alone in a deceptively peaceful meadow.

"Juh – Jenny," Brad finally said.  "Do this."  He wiggled his fingers in front of his face.

Jenny didn't understand.  She raised her hand to her face and wiggled her slim, _pink_ fingers back and forth like Brad did – _hey … what's the deal with this?_ –  She tried to deploy a mirror to look at herself, but it wasn't working.  Jenny looked at her elbow to see why it was malfunctioning, and saw that it was a pinkish color, too.  An impossible color.  The color of _human skin_.

Brad could barely believe what he was seeing.  Jenny looked like a tall, slim – and _attractive_ – teenage girl, with real blue hair done up in two pigtails.  She was wearing an icy blue halter top, a short blue skirt, and tall blue boots that came up to her knees – a close approximation of her robotic coloring.  But everything else was skin, not metal.  The doctor had restored Jenny as a _human_ player.

Stunned, she reached up and ran her fingers through her hair.  "This is so – totally – bizarre."

"Jenny, I … I mean … Jenny, you look incredible.  I wish you could see yourself."

"Wow, this is pretty cool," she smiled.  "The game put some kind of wrapper on me, like my mom's exo-skin.  And it's a really good fit."  She ran her hand over her arm, and felt her cheek.  "It feels real.  It feels … _warm?_"  Her eyes grew wide in surprise, and she lost her breath momentarily.  _Wait a second … lost my breath?  I'm breathing?_

She slid her hand down over her chest.  "B-Brad," she said with a shaking voice, "I … I have a _heartbeat_.  I'm really _human_."

Brad slowly raised his hand, and gently poked Jenny's arm.  It felt like a human skin and human tissue.  "That's some side effect," he said.  "I guess you really _can_ be anything in virtual reality."

Jenny patted her hips and legs, in a wonderful state of shock.  Sure, the rational part of her electronic mind knew that it was all just a simulation.  But like everything else in the virtual world, it felt real – it felt convincing.  "This is amazing – I can feel weird sensations in my arms and my legs that I've never felt before!"

"Umm, I hate to rain on your parade, Jen," said Brad, "but I feel something weird too."

The ground started to rumble beneath their feet.

From over a rise, a few hundred yards away, they saw a dozen dark, menacing machines silhouetted against the sky.  They had huge, armored cockpits, and stood thirty feet in the air, balanced on two monstrous mechanical legs.  Appendages stuck out from either side of the chassis, covered with guns, cannons, rocket pods, and flamethrowers.

"Oh, boy," gulped Brad.  "On the very last level of this game, you fight with 'mechs'.  Big, giant war robots.  And the one that _we_ should be riding in … is on the world _before_ this one.  You get it as a reward for finishing that level."

"Well, the bigger they are, the harder they fall."  Jenny stuck out her arm, ready to deploy her phased electron cannon from her elbow …  "Uh-oh."

Brad raised an eyebrow.  "Oh, no.  Let me guess."

Jenny smiled nervously.  "It looks like the game made me _very_ human – right down to _not_ having laser guns in my arms."

"Quick," said Brad, "try to lift me over your head."

Jenny grabbed the exo-suit by the chest plate and … nothing.  She strained and grunted, but Brad didn't budge an inch.

"Okay, I propose a bold plan of action."  Brad deployed two large rocket engines from the back of his exo-suit.  "I propose we run away really, really, really fast."

The enemy mechs broke formation and started to run across the field, straight towards them.  Brad and Jenny struggled to keep their balance as the ground shook from the lumbering war machines.  Four mechs fired a volley of missiles towards them in a flash of flame and smoke.

Jenny wrapped her arms around Brad's neck.  "Running away sounds really good!"  Brad held onto her with one arm, and ignited the suit's rockets.  They shot into the sky with blistering speed, just as the enemy missiles slammed into the meadow behind them.  They outran the billowing cloud of flames from the explosion, and leveled off to fly straight for the mountain.

As she clung to the front of the exo-suit, she looked backwards over Brad's shoulder and cringed.  The missiles had blown a huge crack in the ground.  The crack grew, and suddenly a section of the earth the size of a football field gave way.  With a shrieking, hissing sound, it fell down into an infinitely inky blackness.  The virtual world had a huge piece ripped out of it now.

"Ozzie wasn't kidding when he said this world wasn't stable," she shouted – then … "Umm, did you know those mech-robots behind us can fly?"

"Yeah," he groaned, "so can those mech robots in _front_ of us.  Hang on."

Two dozen mammoth war machines were converging on Brad and Jenny, a dozen from the front, a dozen from behind.  It would've been a challenge to take them on even _if_ Jenny still had her robot super-powers.  Brad's exo-suit wouldn't be able to do it alone by using brute force.  The only important thing was getting to the mountaintop somehow …

"The river!" said Brad.  "It runs down from the mountain.  We can dive down and fly right up the river, nice and low!"

"That sounds like it might work," added Jenny.  She tightened her grip on the armor's chest plate – flying as a passenger was tougher than it looked.  "They're gaining on us!"

Brad wrapped both arms around Jenny's back, and rolled over into a dive towards the forest below.  He dodged a few branches and tree trunks, then turned to fly upstream, just a few feet above the water's surface.  Hopefully, they were now hidden from the scanning eyes of the enemy mechs.

Hanging upside-down below Brad, and with her pigtails flapping in her face, Jenny couldn't do anything but hang on tight.  Zooming along just above the rolling, frothing river, cold mountain water was splashing on her back – against bare skin.  "Yikes!" she squealed into Brad's ear.

He rolled back and forth, then regained control, laughing.  "So, how does it feel to be rescued by a super robot?  Wow, it sure would be nice to have a pair of rocket engines attached to your head right now, wouldn't it?"

"I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I?" she groaned.

More splashes of icy water jumped up and hit them – large splashes of water.  The river churned with fountains of white foam.  They were being fired upon.

"Uh-oh … my radar display shows three enemy right behind us," Brad said glumly.  "And we're not even halfway there ..."

A long-range shot from one of the pursuing mechs caught Brad's left rocket motor.  The impact spun them around in the air, and the motor started to sputter and die.  Brad flipped over so Jenny would be protected from the impending impact.  They hit the water, skipped once, and plunged beneath the surface.

Jenny twisted in every direction, and lost track of which way was up.  It was a completely new sensation for her – and not a pleasant one.  Once the shock faded away, she realized just how cold the water was.  And there was a horrible, burning feeling gnawing at her chest.  _Oh, right.  The oxygen thing_.

She felt something grab her arm, and was relieved to see Brad's face.  Thanks to a propeller in the exo-suit, he was maneuvering with ease underwater.  Jenny pointed to her chest, frantically.  Brad shook his head, gesturing towards the mechs overhead.  He swam them both back downstream, doubling back to confuse the enemy robots, and popped back to the surface behind a large rock.

The sound of the rushing river drowned out Jenny's gasps, as she filled her lungs back up.  Brad propped her head clear of the water.  "Jen?  You okay?"  She coughed, and nodded.  "I never realized that breathing was so _inconvenient,_" she panted.

Brad looked at some numbers hovering on his visor and frowned.  "More bad news.  This exo-suit isn't going to last much longer unless I can find some energy packs.  And I don't think the rockets work anymore."

"We'll have to … go on foot then," heaved Jenny.  They snuck up the riverbank, and climbed onto dry land.  Brad tried to walk as quietly as possible towards the forest, despite the whining and clanking of his armor's hydraulics.  Jenny followed, trying to wring out her limp, sopping-wet pigtails.

Just as they got to the first line of trees, they were startled by a horrific shredding sound that seemed to resonate from the earth and the sky itself.

Back at the meadow, the hole in reality had continued to grow.  More chunks of the earth had broken off and fallen away.  Now a huge swath of sky simply ripped away, as if it were a poster on a giant wall.  Instead of crystal blue, a huge piece of the sky was now inky black, with a hint of green circuit patterns.

"Normally," shuddered Brad, "I would say that was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"The whole world is falling apart - literally."  Jenny nibbled at her fingernails.  "I have to admit, that's freaking me out a little, too.  Let's get out of here!"

They started running through the forest, in the direction of the mountain.  It seemed to be miles away … but it was their only hope.

A loud pair of shrieks zoomed by overhead.  Brad looked up to see two mechs roar through the sky, in a searching pattern.  _There's no way they saw us,_ he thought.  But his spirits sunk when the huge robots slowed down, turned back in their direction, and dropped down to hover just above the trees.

"We can't outrun them," he groaned.  "I've got an idea.  Help me get out of this suit, Jen."  Brad twisted a release catch, and Jenny helped him wriggle out of the armor.  Brad wedged the exo-suit against the thick trunk of a giant pine tree, over a hundred feet high.  He picked a small remote control off of the chest.

"Now we get their attention," said Brad.

"What?!?"  She was shocked at first, then … "Oh, I understand.  Like I said, 'the bigger they are'!"

Brad and Jenny started jumping up and down, waving their arms.  The two war robots couldn't miss them.  They landed on the forest floor with a resounding thud, and started slowly lumbering towards them, making their way through the trees.  The first mech opened fire with one of its small lasers.  They dove behind a fallen log for protection.

Brad peeked over the log, and saw that the first mech was just about next to the giant pine tree –

He mashed the button on the remote control, and the exo-suit self-destructed.  The explosion rocked the huge pine tree, shattering its massive trunk.  It slowly started to lean, and then tipped over and rushed towards the ground.  The tree came down on top of the war robot, crushing it like a soda can.

Brad and Jenny were thrilled – but they got more than they bargained for.  The crushed mech's fuel and ammunition exploded in a huge fireball, blasting out a concussion wave that knocked over several nearby trees.  Instead of carving out a crater, the explosion ripped a new hole in reality itself.  The flaming mech, and its intact partner, slid through the hole in the world, and tumbled down into eternal nothingness below.

They stared with satisfaction for a few moments, then they sat down on a log and wiped off the forest debris.  "And so we say goodbye to the Brad-inator – a moment of silence, please.  It sure was fun while it lasted."  He sighed, and turned serious.  "Jen, this is farther than I've ever gotten on this world before.  We're out of weapons, and I'm out of ideas."

A hissing growl erupted from the hole in the forest floor.  The rim of the hole started to send cracks shooting outward, and more chunks of the world started to tumble down the abyss.  It was as if the entire world were made of thin ice.  The hole, only a hundred yards away, started to grow.

They jumped off the log and into a sprint.  Even without the exo-suit, Brad made good speed through the forest.  And Jenny was running almost as fast as she could as a robot.  The hissing sound of the reality hole faded into the background.  But a more ominous sound rumbled from the sky in front of them.

Brad stopped in his tracks, and stared at the sky with slumped shoulders.  Three more mechs dropped towards the forest, riding jets of flame from their huge rocket motors.  The game-controlled war robots must have "talked" to each other when they first sighted the "players".  Soon even more mechs would be right on top of them.  There was no place to hide, no way to outrun them, no way to outfight them.

The mechs lumbered towards Brad and Jenny, and armed their giant proton cannons.  He suddenly realized that he wasn't about to lose a simple video game.  He might be about to lose his thinking mind.

They heard the whistling sound of missiles roaring through the air.  "Well, this ought to be quick," cringed Brad.

But the missiles came from the wrong direction … and they weren't heading towards them at all.  Four missiles slammed into the cockpits of each of the three lumbering war robots, rocking them backwards with colossal explosions.  They dropped onto their backs, and columns of smoke poured out of their chests.  Brad and Jenny couldn't believe their good luck.  _Where in the world did those missiles come from?_

With a flaming roar, another mech dropped down into the forest, landing a mere fifty feet away from Brad and Jenny.  It didn't look like the game-controlled robots – it was highly customized, with extra weapons pylons, and bigger rocket engines.  And it was painted a flamboyant crimson red, with spectacular orange flames painted on the sides of the cockpit.  Parts of the legs glistened with sparkling chrome.

"Wow!  All right!" beamed Jenny.  "That must be Drew!  He found a way to create another player and put it in the game to help us!"

"I don't think so – I've never seen anything like that in the game before," gasped Brad.  "What a sweet ride!  Check out the paint job on the side.  Hmmm."  There was a name painted just underneath the cockpit …

Brad slapped his head in disbelief.  "Mech Commander … Johnny Zoom?!?"

With a hiss of compressed air, the crimson mech's canopy opened, and pivoted up to reveal the cockpit and the pilot inside.  It was a short little fellow with jet black hair.  He waved, and laughed at Brad and Jenny.  "I figured that my doofus brother was going to need some help."

Brad's jaw dropped.  "I don't believe it!  Tuck!  How did you … Where did you … What did you .. ?"

Jenny ran up to the mech's open cockpit.  "Tuck, are we ever glad to see you – but you shouldn't have come in here!  Now you're in danger too!  Wait a minute … just how _did_ you get in the game?"

When Jenny looked closer, she realized that the pilot of the mech didn't quite look like Tuck – he was a little older, and a little more muscular.  "Don't worry, Jenny.  I'm not inside the game – I just plugged another controller into the back of the GameStation!  I customized my player – I think it's a stunning likeness.  And I dug around in the other Christmas presents, and found a microphone headset.  That's how come I can talk to you on the TV.  Pretty cool, huh?"

A series of lights and buzzers started to beep in the crimson mech's cockpit.  "Hold on – sensors show five enemy bogies inbound from the east!"  "Tuck" sat back, and grabbed the controls with a cocky grin.  "Things look grim, but the enemy pilots are no match for Commander Johnny Zoom!  With battle-sharpened reflexes, Commander Zoom unleashes a withering barrage of firepower!"

Weapons pods extended from the crimson mech, and a deafening volley of missiles screamed into the sky.  Tuck's attack went on for a full sixty seconds, filling the forest with a thick cloud of missile exhaust.

Brad wiped his eyes, coughed, and motioned for Jenny to climb into the mech cockpit with Tuck.  They groped their way in through the smoke, climbed up one of the legs, and finally dropped inside the cockpit, exhausted.  As soon as they were inside, Tuck closed the cockpit, and prepared his war machine for takeoff.

Jenny wiped the smoke out of her eyes.  "Tuck, we've got to get out of here!  The whole game world is disintegrating!  There's a big hole in the ground back there that's getting bigger every second!"

"I'm way ahead of you, Jenny."  Tuck tapped a few buttons, punched the throttle, and nudged the control stick forward.  The massive crimson mech lunged into the air, and climbed above the tops of the evergreen trees.  "Well … seeing as how I am the _only_ person in this house who has actually completed the whole game, I figured you two could use a little help.  Could you use some help, big brother?  Why, if you asked nicely … _nicely_ … I'd be _happy_ to help."

Brad's teeth were grinding together.  "Tuck … grrr … would you _please_ fly us to the mountaintop base?"

_How is Tuck playing so well?_  All five enemy mechs were destroyed – Tuck had attacked them with sixty-two missiles.  _Sixty-two!!!_  He looked at the weapons readout in front of Tuck.  The status indicator read "Lasers – infinite.  Missiles – infinite.  Shield – infinite."

Suddenly, Brad got furious.  "Why, you … you're using cheat codes!!!  That's why I haven't seen this mech before – it's a cheat code too!  You rotten little _cheater_!  You only finished the game because you had infinite weapons!  And invulnerability!"

"Cheat codes?" smiled Tuck.  "Such an ugly word, 'cheat'.  I prefer the term … _secret_ codes."

"I knew you were up to something funny!  Why, you little …"

Tuck smirked.  "Fine, then.  I can always drop you off and let you walk."

Jenny jumped in and stopped them.  "All right, boys, maybe we could focus on something a little more important?  Like _saving our lives?_  Brad, maybe it's actually a _good_ thing to be sitting in an indestructible flying machine, don't you think?  Who cares if it's cheating?  It's not like you're keeping score."

"Of course we're keeping score," said Tuck.

Brad pointed a finger in "Tuck's" face.  "We'll finish this back in the living room."

Tuck grinned, and nudged his war robot up to full flying speed.  For the first time, Brad and Jenny were starting to feel a little optimistic.  They were approaching the foothills of the mountain, and just a few thousand feet up, on the summit, was the enemy stronghold, and the portal back to the outside world.

"What am I supposed to be looking for, guys?" asked Tuck.  "Somebody want to give me a little help here?"

Jenny thought for a second.  "Well, on the last game-world, the operating system had to actually put the exit portal _inside_ the enemy base.  So he probably had to do the same thing here, too."

"So you've got to get inside the enemy fortress on top of the mountain.  That's not going to be easy.  It's heavily defended, and once you get inside, there are a whole bunch of enemy troops.  Normally, I just blast 'em all – I don't bother going inside.  We'll have to improvise once we get there."

A hail of plasma bolts screamed down towards them from the mountain top.  Just below the summit, huge gun turrets unfolded from the mountainside, and opened up with withering defensive fire.  Dozens of energy blasts rocked the crimson mech, and although the "infinite shields" protected it, they were stilled being tossed around inside the cockpit.  Tuck landed the mech behind a large boulder, giving them a breather so they could stop and think.

Brad lifted himself up off the floor.  "Man, if Jen and I take one step out of this cockpit, those guns will turn us into toast!"

"Well, I can take care of those guns – no problem!"  Tuck keyed another "special" command into his command stick, and a large red "X" appeared on the windshield.  "I think thirty missiles should make short work of those guns!"

Tuck centered his sights on the gun placements, and pulled his weapons trigger.

Jenny had a sudden, horrible thought.  "Tuck!  Stop!"

But the missiles were underway.  With a blinding flash of rocket motors, one massive wave of missiles jumped out of the weapons pod and weaved their way up the mountain towards the enemy guns.

Tuck and Brad looked at Jenny, confused.  "What's the problem?"

"Thirty missiles is an awful lot.  What happened the last time we made a really big explosion?"  Jenny fidgeted with her pigtails.  "I sure hope I'm wrong."

Thirty missile contrails converged on the gun placement, and impacted at the same time.  A mammoth orange fireball ripped out the side of the summit, sending a shower of rocks and wrecked machinery cascading down the side of the mountain.  The hail of plasma fire from above came to a stop.

"See?" grinned Tuck.  "Jen, in a video game, there's no problem that can't be solved with firepower."

The devastation from the explosion rumbled through the mountainside, like a small earthquake, shaking the three players in the cockpit of the crimson mech.  But instead of fading away, the earthquake continued … and started to get stronger.

The mountain shook, and shook, and Jenny could plainly see a large crack making its way across the width of the summit.  The earthquake grew stronger still, and soon they had to brace themselves against the inside of the mech's cockpit to keep from being thrown to the floor.

Then there was a horrific shredding sound.  The sound of reality being torn into pieces.

The entire top of the mountain – the top five hundred feet – broke free of the base with a crack like a hundred thunderbolts.  Jenny, Brad and Tuck stared, in astonishment, as the mountain summit started to _climb into the air_.  Millions of tons of rock sailed upwards, faster and faster, a completely impossible sight.  It rose a few thousand feet into the air, and then shattered the sky, like a rock through a giant plate glass window.  A huge, black hole formed in the sky from the impact.  The mountain summit, and the chunk of sky, splintered into billions of colored polygons, and was sucked upwards into an endless, coal-black void.

The crimson mech braced itself as the wind started to gust, then pick up steadily into a hurricane-force gale, sucking plants, rocks, and stray bits of game reality upwards into the black hole.  Brad and Jenny stared at each other, speechless.  The only way out of the game had just disappeared, before their eyes.

* * *

CONCLUDED in Chapter Five

* * *


	5. Thanks For The Memories

* * *

Reality Bytes

A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic

Chapter Five – Thanks For The Memories

* * *

Tuck struggled to keep his crimson mech upright.  Automobile-size boulders bounced off the fuselage, sailing into the sky to be sucked into the black hole growing over the mountain.  The mountain's summit had already been devoured by the abyss, along with the enemy fortress at the very top.  A fortress that contained Brad and Jenny's only hopes of reconnecting their minds with their bodies, back in the real world.

Tuck stared as more chunks of the sky started to flake away and disappear into the hole.  "Now what are we supposed to do?" he asked in a weak voice.

Hundred-foot trees shot into the sky, plucked up like dandelions.  Brad watched virtual Armageddon unfold before his eyes.  "Any chance of getting in touch with that Ozzie guy?  The operating system plumber dude?  He's probably our only way out of here."

The mountain stream ripped away from the riverbed, and the water flowed upwards into a waterspout, spiraling towards the hole's gaping maw.  "It's worth a try," said Jenny, trying to sound hopeful.  She shouted into the air.  "Ozzie!  Ozzie?"

But this time, there was no response.  Another piece of sky ripped in two like an old bedsheet, and was sucked into the growling, hissing void.

"Maybe he's just busy?" she suggested.

"Maybe he got sucked into the black hole," shuddered Brad. 

Suddenly, a new contact started beeping on the radar screen in front of Tuck.

"It's not an enemy robot," he said.  "It's not even moving.  It just looks like some kind of plain old radio beacon."

"Unless anybody has any better ideas," said Jenny, "I think we should follow it."

Tuck struggled with his mech's controls, as the shrieking winds made flying nearly impossible.  After a few unsuccessful attempts, he landed the crimson mech, and just ran the final half mile towards the beeping signal on his radar screen.  Even that was made difficult by the raging reality-storm.

They homed in on the strange radar signal, hoping to see a base, a fortification, any kind of building.  But as they came over the final outcropping of rock, there was nothing …  nothing but a five-foot ledge jutting out from the side of the mountain.  No, wait … there was something else.  A narrow crack in the stone face, maybe two feet wide.

It didn't look like an exit portal, but they didn't have any other ideas.  Tuck maneuvered his mech as close as he could to the ledge, and cracked open the canopy.  Jenny and Brad braced themselves against the inside of the cockpit, took a deep breath, and jumped as hard as they could towards the mountain ledge.

The hurricane-force wind caught them as soon as they left the cockpit, and started to pull them upwards.  But Brad managed to get a hand on a piece of rock, and Jenny wrapped her fingers around the lip of the crack.  Together, they pulled themselves downwards, and swung their bodies into the narrow fissure.

There was no time to rest – things were only getting worse, and the game world was dissolving away into a blizzard of pixels.  Brad felt his way ahead into the cold, clammy darkness, and Jenny followed right behind him.  The wind died down, and soon, they were groping their way through total inky blackness.

* * *

Jenny bumped her elbow against a chunk of rock in the dark, and winced as a stab of pain shot up her arm.  "This so totally sucks," she moaned.  "I actually get to be a normal teenage girl for once, and all I've done is run for my life from video arcade rejects.  I'm cold, and I'm sore, and I feel lousy.  What a gyp!"

"Look at it this way," said Brad, "you've got to be _alive_ to feel cold and sore and lousy."

"You're not helping," she grumbled. "Can you see anything at all ahead of you?  Is it the way out?  It actually feels like it's getting a little colder."

"I think you're right.  Hey – I think we're coming to the end of this passage!  I can see a light up ahead!"

"Good, I'm starting to get a little claustrophobic."

The light was getting brighter, and they shuffled along a bit faster.  Now they could actually see the exit to the narrow mountain passage.  But the outside didn't seem to have any form or features – it was just a uniform, bright white.  Jenny didn't know what they would find, but anything was preferable to creeping around in a tiny crack through millions of tons of mountain.

Brad and Jenny stumbled out of the mountain passage, blinking their eyes from the sudden brightness.  She took a few steps forward, and heard her booted feet make a familiar _crunching_ sound with every step.

"That sounds like … _snow_," she said.

They shielded their eyes and looked around.  They were standing in about a foot of white, powdery snow, with more drifting out of the sky.  They were in a small clearing, surrounded by snow-covered trees and bushes on all sides.  Jenny looked behind them and, to her surprise, the mountain passage that they just walked out of – actually, the entire mountain – simply wasn't there.  As if it was never there in the first place.

"How in the … where did the mountain go?" said Jenny, mystified.

Brad looked as completely baffled as she was.  "You know, nothing in here surprises me anymore.  I guess that passage was a one-way trip."

She groaned, and a white cloud of vapor hung in the air from her breath.  _Hey, that's cool!_  She giggled, and exhaled again, making clouds of vapor with her breath, watching the patterns of swirling flakes they made.

"Do you have any idea where we are, Brad?".

"Well, it sure isn't the living room," he smirked.  "But the sky seems to be in one piece.  And I don't see a giant sucking hole up there.  Just clouds and snow flurries."

"Is this part of the game?"

"I'm not sure.  If it is, I've never seen it before," shrugged Brad.  "Kinda peaceful, actually."

Jenny slowly turned around, taking in their new surroundings.  Snow-clad trees, with brown and white bark, stretched as far as she could see in every direction.  She didn't hear hisses, or roars, or explosions … all she could hear was the faint gurgling of a brook winding its way through the distant woods.  A brief wind whistled through the trees, just enough to stir powder into the air, and raise goose bumps on the back of her neck.  _It's … it's so beautiful_.

She picked out a big, lazy snowflake, and stuck out her tongue.  It landed, lingered for a split second, and then dissolved into her mouth.

"It tingles," she giggled.  "It actually tingles!"  Then she felt a mischievous urge, and reached down to scoop up a snowball.  The snow felt so different against her hand; so cold, so crunchy.  "Hey, Brad."

"What is it, J – _oomph!_"  Jenny's snowball caught him full in the face.

She doubled over, laughing.  "That's for getting us stuck in here, genius!"

Brad stumbled around, clutching at his eyes.  Jenny worried briefly, and ran over to check on him – just as Brad grabbed a low-hanging tree branch, and gave it a hard shake.  A shower of white powder rained down on Jenny, covering her hair, shoulders, and back.

She jumped into the air, and it was Brad's turn to laugh.  "Virtual reality or not, nobody gets the Bradster with an unprovoked snowball and just walks away!"

"Aieeee!  That's cold!" she squealed.  She rubbed her hands through her hair, pulling it free from her normal pigtails for the first time in her life.  Snow flew off in every direction.

"Well, duh, it's cold!  It's frozen water.  Look, stop, you're just getting it down your neck."  Brad brushed the snow off of Jenny's shoulders, and scooped some cool slush from the neck of her halter top … and he stopped, suddenly looking very self-conscious.  Jenny noticed an unusual awkwardness about him, and something else – a flash of a blush on his cheeks?

"Umm … you're shivering, Jenny," he stammered.  "We've got to find shelter somewhere and warm up.  You're … ah … you're not exactly dressed for the weather."

That was true enough – a halter top and short skirt weren't very practical in this environment.  Jenny dusted the rest of the snow out of her hair, a little surprised and a little amused at Brad's discomfort.  Then she pointed excitedly towards the sky.  "Check it out!  Smoke!"

A dark wisp of smoke twisted into the sky, only a short distance away.  Brad grabbed Jenny by the arm, and they ran through the woods as best they could, through a foot of snow.  The running itself helped warm them a bit, but the temperature, and the still-falling snow, started to sink into their bodies.  They came out into another small clearing, and found the source of the smoke.

A small, rustic log cabin sat in the middle of the clearing; simple, humble, but to Brad and Jenny it looked like a five-star hotel.  The snow, which had been coming down in flurries, started to pick up a bit, and they ran the rest of the way towards the door of the cabin.

"Hot dog!  Ozzie m-must have p-put this cabin here for us!" said Brad, through chattering teeth.  "We're home f-f-free!"  He managed to open the sliding handle on the cabin door with his shaking hands, and they hopped inside, shivering violently.

"In a f-f-few seconds we'll be b-b-back in the living room, and this will all be a f-f-fantastic, weird memory," smiled Jenny.  She raised her voice.  "Ozzie!  Ozzie, exit port please!"

They looked around the inside of the log cabin.  There was an old couch and chair, a small wooden table, other scattered furniture and equipment, and a fireplace flickering with a dim flame.  Jenny expected a unnatural green door to phase into existence at any moment.  Any moment now, a glimmer of green light would flash into being, and the portal back home would appear.  Any moment, now.

"Is something supposed to be happening?" Brad finally asked.

"The operating system always appeared when I called it b-b-before," she said weakly.  "You d-d-don't suppose that it really was d-d-destroyed in the game …"  _If the operating system can't help us, then we're … we're done for.  And we can't wait forever – if we stay much longer, it won't matter if Ozzie ever finds us._

"It's got to be out there somewhere."  Brad grabbed Jenny by the arms, and rubbed them vigorously.  "Look, Jen, if you don't get warmed up soon, you'll turn blue and white again.  You're going to catch virtual pneumonia.  Go sit by the fire."

Jenny had to agree that being cold _sucked_, so she sat down a few feet in front of the fireplace, soaking in as much heat as she could.  Brad found an old wool blanket lying over the top of the old couch, and wrapped it around her shoulders.  In the corner of the cabin stood a small pile of dry wood, ready for use.  He tossed a few logs into the fire, and the dry bark instantly ignited.  In a few seconds, roaring flames filled the cabin with a flickering light and a hearty warmth.

Brad rubbed his hands together.  "Okay, we won't freeze to death.  That's a _good thing_."  He sat down next to Jenny, and started taking off his shoes and socks.  "The snow in my shoes soaked my feet," he explained.  Brad stretched his bare feet out towards the fireplace.  "O-o-ohhh, wow, that really feels good."

"I wonder …"  Jenny reached down to the tall blue boots on her legs, which were also soaked with melted snow.  She gave one firm tug and, to her amazement, it slid off.  She tossed the boots by the side of the fireplace and stretched her _human_ legs out next to Brad's, fascinated by the tiny, wiggling toes at the end of her feet.

"Ow!  O-o-ohhh … Ahh!"  The heat from the fire felt like thousands of stickpins poking at her, but it felt wonderful in a strange way.  She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the sensation of her frigid limbs soaking in the life-giving heat.

She turned to Brad with a puzzled look.  "I've got a really strange feeling in my nose, Brad.  Of course, I've never had a nose before, so every feeling is a strange one.  Is that … _smell_?"

Brad sniffed the air.  A pleasant smoky aroma hung in the air … yet there was something else.  "I smell something too, Jenny.  It smells like … _chocolate_?"

In another dark corner of the log cabin sat an old cast iron stove.  Brad found a steel pot on top of it that was warm to the touch.  On the wall, a rough wooden shelf held a pair of tin cups.  He grabbed them, and rushed back to the fireplace.

"Well, _somebody_ made this, Jen.  Maybe they'll be able to help us?"  But Jenny wasn't too hopeful.  Despite the fire and the pot, there was no sign of life anywhere.

He poured a cup of hot, thick liquid into a cup, and placed it in her hands.  The rich vapors from the drink danced into her nostrils; she practically felt warmer just inhaling its aroma.  She got brave enough to take a sip.  As rich as the aroma was, it tasted a hundred times better.  "I can _taste_ this," beamed Jenny.  "I can smell and taste this drink!"

Brad emptied his cup.  "Wow, this is hot cocoa.  Don't know who made it, don't care.  It's good.  It really hits the spot."  Brad poured another cup, with shaking hands.

"Brad, for crying out loud, you're still freezing," said Jenny.  "The blanket's big enough for both of us.  There's no sense in _you_ catching virtual pneumonia, either."

"All right," he said, too cold to argue.  He knelt down in front of the crackling fire, next to Jenny, and after a moment's hesitation, they wrapped themselves together in the blanket.

A few moments of silence passed as their bodies warmed up, basking from the dancing flames in the fireplace, revived by the penetrating warmth of the cocoa.  Jenny tried to think of a solution to their larger problem – how to get out of the virtual reality world.  Everything she remembered from her mother's experiments involved using the operating system to make an exit portal.  They'd never imagined using the helmet in such a bizarre way, and she couldn't think of any creative solutions at the moment.

Brad didn't seem to be his usual optimistic, carefree self.  He'd never say so openly, but she could tell that he thought they were goners.  And she was starting to feel the same way.  They probably wouldn't die, but Brad would end up a vegetable, and her mom would probably have to overhaul her electronic brain, or even install a new one.  That would be as bad as dying.

The future looked grim and beyond their control.  All she could do was focus on the present.

And despite everything, the present felt … _fantastic_.

The feel of the fire, huddled next to Brad, the taste of the chocolate, the smell of the smoke, was flooding her with sensations she'd only imagined could exist.  She wanted it to go on for a while longer.  Half an hour ago, this had all seemed like a nightmare.  Now … now it felt like everything she'd ever wanted.

She glanced over at Brad, and noticed that he'd been staring at her – then he snapped his eyes away.  Brad had never seemed uncomfortable around her before.  Jenny started to figure things out.  _The human body that the game created for me must be pretty.  Brad thinks so, and he's feeling guilty about it._  Jenny giggled to herself.  She felt a little flattered, even if Brad was only attracted to a phony computer image.  _It's probably the best that I can ever hope for.  He probably has his pick of real girls to choose from._

Brad finally overcame his awkwardness, and spoke.  "Jenny – I just wanted to say I'm sorry.  Sorry for getting you stuck in here with me in this _stupid_ video world.  I thought the whole thing would be one big game.  I never imagined any of this would happen.  I sure never wanted to get you hurt.  I wanted to be a robot so bad – I guess I wasn't a very good one."  The flickering light highlighted the pain on his face.

"Brad, don't feel bad," she blurted.  "Look, I was mad at you earlier, but – I know what it feels like to have crazy, impossible dreams.  And you did get to see what it felt like to be a robot, and I finally got to have human sensations and feelings!  And all I've ever wanted was to know how it felt … to …"  She couldn't finish her sentence.

_You're my best, truest friend_, Jenny thought to herself, _and it could never be anything more than that … but in this world … anything seems possible …_

There was a sharp crack from the fire, and one of the burning logs snapped in half.  A glowing ember bounced out of the fireplace and landed against the tender sole of Jenny's foot.

She jumped with a squeal, and involuntarily lunged towards Brad.  He caught her by reflex, and suddenly their faces were mere inches apart, with shocked expressions on each.  The fire, the sensations, and the moment got the better of her.  To Brad's amazement – and to hers – Jenny planted a quick, clumsy kiss on his mouth, bashing their noses and foreheads in the process.

Jenny pulled away, horrified, her face buried in her hands in shame.  "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!  Brad, I'm so sorry!"  She rubbed her nose and head, and tears welled up in her eyes.

Brad was stupefied – it had all happened so fast.  "Jenny?  Uh … wow.  What was _that_?"

She jumped to her feet and ran to the couch, sobbing with embarrassment.  "I know, I know, it was stupid.  I'm sorry.  It's just that I've never tasted or smelled anything before, and I've never been able to … _feel_ anything before.  And I've always wanted to know what a kiss feels like.  And in this body, it seemed like my only chance, because if I ever get back in my ugly, freaky metal body, it'll never, ever happen.  But I guess I'm just a klutz no matter what I look like.  Brad, I'm _so sorry_."

Jenny cried into the arm of the couch.  Brad gritted his teeth, made a decision.  _If we're going to die, then I have to tell her_.

He walked over towards the wood stove.  There was a small, crude washtub sitting next to it, and hanging just above the tub was a dusty shaving mirror.  He grabbed it, and sat down on the couch, next to his best friend.

He held the mirror up to Jenny's face, trying to muster the courage to speak.  "Jenny, what do you see?  Do you see a freak?"

Jenny hadn't actually seen herself yet in human form.  Tears flowed from large, icy blue eyes, down the soft curves of reddened cheeks covered by strands of long, wet blue hair.  _Still, it's a lot prettier than my usual hideous metal self_.  "I guess I'm beautiful," she moped.  "The game software did a really good job making up this phony body."

Brad set the mirror down, and looked into her eyes.  He was as nervous and uncomfortable as she'd ever seen him.  "Jenny, why do you suppose you look like this?  Why didn't the game just make you look like your exo-skin?"

She thought for a second.  "I can't really guess," she sniffled.

"Back in the game world, the doctor had to give you some kind of health transfusion from me.  It was the only way to bring you back after the power outage."

"Gee … thanks."  Sure, it was only game health, but she believed that Brad would have given her half his blood if she needed it.

Brad took a deep, shaking breath, and went on.  "Once, I had this …"  He stopped, cleared his throat, and tried again.  "Jenny, every now and then I have this _dream_.  And … uh … you're in it."

Jenny gulped.  "You have a dream … about _me_?"

"We're hanging out, y'know, after school.  And your mother comes out of the house with this big test tube.  And she says, 'XJ-9!  It's time to take your medicine!'"  He did a terrible imitation of Mrs. Wakeman's voice, making them both chuckle a bit.  "I know, I know, weird.  It's a dream, okay?  All right.  Then … you take the test tube, and you drink it."

Brad tugged at his collar.  "As soon as you finish the medicine, your metal skin starts to _peel off_, like a … like a flower opening up.  Then all of the sudden the ground is covered with these metal pieces, and you're standing there as a human teenage girl – with blue eyes, and blue hair, and you're … you're _beautiful_.  And you look …" – he gulped nervously – "… and you look just like you do right now, in front of me.  I think the game must have gotten it from my mind somehow."

Jenny was too stunned to speak.  She felt a rapid pounding in her chest as Brad raised his hand to her face, and carefully plucked a strand of hair away from her mouth.  "That's why I've been acting a little spaced out – seeing you like this is sort of … a dream come to life.  So stop running yourself down all the time.  Because, Jenny, this is what you really look like – _to me_ – all the time."

Brad wiped a tear away from her cheek, and his hand lingered, cradling her face.  With a final summoning of courage, he plunged forward, and brought his lips to hers.

_Mmmphhfff_ … she recoiled a bit in surprise, but his lips were soft, and his touch was gentle, and suddenly his other hand brushed her hair back against her neck, caressing it.  Her inhibitions shattered, she melted into his hands, and kissed him back.  Her mind spun frantically out of control as a flood of emotions washed over her, overwhelming her with wondrous mix of joy and fear, anxiety and comfort, awkwardness and pleasure.  It was everything that she expected it to be, and yet nothing like she expected it to be.

It might have lasted for five seconds or five minutes; she had no idea.  She moaned softly and drank in the smell of his cheek, and the texture of his mouth.  Then he pulled away, softly sucking her lower lip for a split second, and sat upright, taking a deep, terrified breath.  It took Jenny every ounce of strength in her body to open her eyelids, and stare back at his stupid grin.

"Uh … see, I figured," he stammered, "if you wanted to remember a kiss, that first one was pretty lame.  So I … uh … thought … er …"

Jenny tried to remember how to talk.  "Umm … yeah … that one was … definitely … better."  She could feel her face blushing as brightly as the flames leaping from the logs in the fireplace.

They exchanged dumb stares for a few seconds, then she leaned towards Brad, slid her arms around his neck, and laid her cheek against his chest.  His vest scratched a bit, but it was warm and comfortable, and she could feel his heart thundering away, just like hers.  She pulled herself closer to him on the couch.  Everything about this instant in time felt good.  It felt … _right_.  Curled up by the fire, the air scented with chocolate and pine, the taste of his lips still lingering on hers, the feel of his fingers lightly stroking her hair.

"Brad," she said through a dreamy haze, "remember back in the game, when I said I didn't even know what I wanted to feel?"

Brad glanced down into her icy blue eyes.  "Yeah, Jen?"

"I think I figured it out."  She kissed him softly on the lips.  "Merry Christmas, Brad."  She buried her face into his neck, tickling him with the tip of her nose.

"Merry Christmas, Jen," he laughed, wriggling in discomfort.  He slid his hand down to her waist, and wondered about the possibilities … then he smiled, closed his eyes, and simply enjoyed the smell of her hair.  It was a perfect moment just as it was.  _Well, if this is the last thing I ever remember_, he thought, _then that's not too bad, is it?_

Curled up together on the old couch, the only sound he could hear was the odd crack from the logs in the fire, and the odd gust of wind outside the cabin … and something else.

A new sound, but a familiar one.  A hissing, growling sound.

Jenny heard it now too, and they exchanged a worried look.  It didn't seem to be coming from anywhere – rather, it seemed to be coming from all around them.  It could only mean one thing.  Wherever they were, it was coming apart too, just like the video game world.

"Well, like you said, Brad," she sighed, "it was fun while it lasted."

Brad tried to sound optimistic.  "Okay … so I wind up in a coma.  People wake up from comas all the time, Jenny.  Just last week, I read about this guy who woke up from a coma … er, after twenty years."

Jenny shook her head.  "I'll make a log entry to visit you when you're thirty-five.  Actually I'll probably be sitting in the spare parts box in Mom's basement.  I'll get XJ-22 to say 'hi' for me."

The hissing and growling grew louder, and now the walls of the log cabin started to shake.  Dust started to drift from the ceiling, and small items fell from shelves onto the floor.   The chair and the couch started to vibrate.  Jenny and Brad clung to each other, determined to enjoy their last few seconds of consciousness before they disintegrated into ones and zeroes.  The vibration and the noise, which seemed to come from everywhere, now seemed to come from the wall of the cabin – and the noise was getting rougher, with a high-pitched whine tossed in.

Suddenly a blast of sawdust sprang from the wall, and the noise exploded into a shriek that sounded like a gasoline motor.  Brad recognized it instantly as the unmistakable sound of a _chainsaw_.  And sure enough, a chainsaw blade was carving a hole in one of the walls of the log cabin.  Brad began to wonder if a guy in a hockey mask was going to barge through the wall.

But as the chunk of wall fell to the floor, two familiar figures stepped into the log cabin.  Two copies of Drew; one wearing a carpenter's overalls, the other, a ball cap and a plumber's work clothes.  The "plumber" slung a plunger over his shoulder and spoke in a Bronx accent.  "So, somebody here lookin' for an exit portal?"

Jenny jumped over the couch in pure joy, and wrapped Ozzie in a huge bear hug.  "I don't believe it!  We thought we'd never see you again!  I thought you'd been destroyed in the game!"

Ozzie actually laughed.  "Ahhh, no piss-ant game program is gonna do anything to the ol' Android OS 2000!  It just took us a while to get all da new connections all copasetic-like."

The carpenter cut another hole in the wall with his chainsaw, so there were now two makeshift doors, each glowing with a faint, green glow, seeming to stretch off to an infinitely distant point.  "Okay, that's it.  The living room is just on the other side of those doors."

Brad danced around the cabin.  "Yes!  See Jen, what did I tell you?  Nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to _worry about?!?_  Why you …"  She stopped herself.  A million questions still raced through her mind.  "Ozzie, how did you do this?  Where are we?  Are we still in the game?"

"Oh, da game world is toast.  Kaput.  _Fuggetaboudit_.  The software got all corrupted, and I figured we was just gonna have to reboot and lose youse two."  Ozzie glanced over at the carpenter, who gave him a nasty look.  "Uh, of _course_, dat wasn't an option.  So we built this place for youse two – da cabin, da woods, da whole shootin' match.  Outside the game world.  Think of it as … as an _emergency shelter_."

"But a cabin in the woods?  Why in the world did you build _this_?!?"

"A-hem."  The carpenter interrupted her.  "It might not be a bad idea for you two to get out of here before something _else_ happens, don't you think?"

Jenny still had questions, but the carpenter was right.  She chuckled at Brad.  "Back to boring old reality, I guess."

They stood in front of the two glowing doors, and the carpenter directed traffic.  "Brad, you take this one.  Jenny, this one's yours.  Just remember to keep your arms and hands inside the car at all times.  Now get going!"

They jumped into their respective doors, and vanished with a flash.

The carpenter heaved a huge sigh of relief, and wiped his forehead.  "Well, they're safe and sound back in the living room by now.  Man, we almost screwed up.  We almost screwed up big time."

Ozzie seemed very nervous, and rubbed his hands fretfully.  "You're – ah – you're not gonna delete anyone, are ya, boss?  I mean, none of us expected to see you down here."

The carpenter laughed.  "Like I'm going to delete my own operating system.  It's not your fault I got them into this mess in the first place.  I'm just glad that I could get in here and help set this place up as a shelter."

Ozzie scratched his head.  "Yeah, about that … I really don't understand, boss.  Why _did_ you get us to build a shack in the middle of nowhere?"

The carpenter sighed deeply, and walked around the log cabin.  "This is … this _was_ my grandfather's old winter cottage.  It looks _just_ like I remember it.  The family used to spend Christmas here every single year.  It was cold, and damp, and uncomfortable, and I loved every single second of it.  Grandpa used to take me fishing in the mornings.  Then I'd spend all afternoon playing in the snow, freezing my butt off, and come inside to a warm fire and a hot mug of cocoa …"

The carpenter reached for the steel pot, but it was empty.  "Jenny wanted to feel Christmas, and this was the first thing that came to my mind.  I couldn't expect you to understand, Ozzie.  File it under human sentimentality."

He walked over and put a hand on Ozzie's shoulder.  "We should probably get out of here.  You have to finish cleaning the system software, and I need to go wake myself up."  They dissolved into translucent green photons, disappeared into the floor, and then the cabin, and the world, faded into digital nothingness.

* * *

The first thing Brad felt was the dizziness.  Then came the headache.  "Oh, momma," he moaned, "it feels like there's a steak knife buried in the back of my head."  His arms felt like wet noodles, and he struggled to raise them up to take off the virtual reality helmet.  Re-connecting to his physical body felt like climbing into a bathtub full of needles.

So it really hurt when Tuck jumped into his lap and grabbed him by the collar, shaking his head back and forth.  "You're alive!  You're alive!  You're not a vegetable!"

It felt like his head was in a blender.  "T-T-Tuck!  Make – the hurting – stop!"

Tuck heard the sound of motors whirring back to life, as Jenny's pigtails pulled out of their connector and revolved back to normal.  The test pattern in her eyes was replaced by a pair of tired, black pupils.  She didn't feel so hot either – error messages popped up in her vision, as her own Jenny OS re-connected to her electronic brain.  She felt dizzy, and shut her eyes.  "Oh, great.  Everything's upside-down!  I need to recalibrate my vision sensors."

Tuck jumped from Brad's lap to Jenny's, and shook her by the shoulders.  "Jenny!  You did it!  You saved Brad's life!"

"Sure, Tuck, whatever," she moaned.  "Just give me a second here, okay?"  _Let's see – I'll just reset to factory defaults for now.  Whirr.  Click.  Yep, back in the same old metal body._

"No problem guys – you two just rest as long as you want," Tuck grinned.  "I'll just entertain myself by trying out this wicked cool virtual reality helmet!!!  Finally!!!"

But it was snatched out of his hands by a silver-green tentacle that shot out from a lump on the floor.  It quickly flowed upwards into a pillar, and oozed and stretched until Drew was standing once more in the living room, holding the helmet.  "For crying out loud, have you even been paying attention for the past two hours?"

"Yes, yes I have," he protested.  "Brad had his turn, then Jenny had hers, and now it's mine."

"Tuck, just look at them."  Drew clenched his teeth, still worried.  "Brad?  Jenny?  How do you feel?  You guys alright?"

Brad's managed to get his eyes half-opened.  "Oh, I feel _just fine_.  And by 'fine', I mean 'I feel like a gorilla is playing my skull like a bongo drum'."

Jenny had the top of her head unhinged, fiddling with some settings in her vision modules.  "I'm getting there.  Just give me a few secs."

"That's not fair!" Tuck whined.  "I mean, I had to sit here and watch you guys have all the fun!  And _boy_," he laughed, "did you guys ever have _fun_!"

Jenny giggled to herself.  _You could say that … uh-oh_.

Jenny's eyelids sprang open with a horrified expression.  And she saw that Brad was having the exact same thought.  _We forgot that Tuck was sitting here watching us on the television the whole time_.  "Uh … what do you mean by that, Tuck?"

"Well, with the robots and the commandos and the fighting and stuff!  I wanted to be a mech commander for real!  You got to, Jenny, and you don't even like video games!"

"Uh … just what did you guys see after we went into the mountain pass?" asked Brad.

"Nothing!" Tuck pouted angrily.

"The picture disappeared when the game software crashed," explained Drew, "and I … uh … entered 'sleep mode' to give my operating system more CPU power.  And it looks like it worked."

"So you don't remember any of what happened afterwards?" Jenny asked nervously.

"Er … nope," Drew answered quickly.  "I'm not even sure how long I was asleep."

"You guys stayed in there for, like, twenty minutes.  Probably having all kinds of cool fun."  He folded his arms and plopped down by the GameStation, sulking.

Brad and Jenny exchanged a quick look, fighting back snorts of laughter.

"That settles it," said Drew.  "Johnny Zoom here wants to turn his brain into a fried egg with this thing.  I'm taking the helmet back to Dr. Wakeman's lab before I give anybody else a lobotomy for Christmas.  Brad, Jenny … I'm really sorry.  The next time I get a bright idea, I'll be sure _not to get_ any bright ideas."

Drew quickly slipped out the front door with the VR helmet, looking uncomfortable.  Brad and Jenny didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

"Okay, short stuff," mumbled Brad, "run upstairs and get me some of Dad's headache medicine.  You know, the bottle he grabs every time you bring a report card home."

"Ha, ha."  Tuck stomped his little feet upstairs, still upset about missing out on his helmet time.

That just left Brad and Jenny to exchange awkward looks on the living room sofa.

"Ah … heh-heh."  A trickle of sweat rolled down Brad's forehead.

"Yeah … right."  Jenny's cheeks started blushing again.  Blue, this time.

Brad took a deep breath.  "Jen, I hope I didn't weird you out back there.  It was just … well, it seemed like we were going to … you know … not make it.  And you're always so hard on yourself, and I just wanted you to know … I just wanted you to know that you're not a freak.  You're just a normal teenage girl."  He chuckled.  "Well, actually … robot or human, there's nothing 'just normal' about you, Jen."

"Thanks, Brad," she smiled.  "Look, it was all just a computer simulation, so nothing really happened, I guess.  But … it all felt real.  It all felt _so real_.  And I still have all the feelings, or at least the memories of them …"  She giggled softly, reliving the moment in her mind.  "Brad, I'll never forget our Christmas at the log cabin, as long as I live."

"Yeah," he grinned.  "It was pretty awesome."

A wicked smile grew on Jenny's face.  "So, do you have any _other_ dreams about me?"

Brad coughed, and nearly spit his teeth out onto the floor.  "Jeez, Jenny!"  He clutched his temples from a new stab of headache pain, as Jenny rocked onto her back, laughing her circuits off.

* * *

Drew trudged out of the Wakeman house and back into the cold, snowy evening.  He looked over towards Brad's living room window, and saw them laughing and hitting each other with sofa pillows.  _They deserve to be alone right now_.  He'd already invaded their privacy enough this afternoon.

Of course he'd seen everything in the log cabin – after all, it had all happened inside of his own mind.  He would never mention it to them, ever.  They didn't know that he had been "The Carpenter", and he would never tell them.

Drew tilted his head back, and let a few snowflakes hit his metal tongue.  Sensors measured the atomic composition, temperature, molecular structure … but there was no taste.  No sensation, no chill running down his spine.  That was gone forever.  But at least he had memories of taste, and smell, and feeling.  That was more than Jenny had ever known …

So he had found a way to share some of them with her.  His very fondest Christmas memories.  And now, she knew a bit of how Christmas felt, and tasted, and smelled, and – how it felt to share it with someone special.  It was the best present she could have ever gotten, and she'd never know where it came from.  She'd think it was an accident.

A warm glow came from Brad's living room, a warmth Drew knew was not meant for him.  Jenny was still laughing,  _Good_.  She deserved to be happy at Christmas.  _I used to love Grandpa's homemade cocoa.  I hope you liked it too.  Merry Christmas, Jenny._

Drew turned around, and started the long walk back to his house through the winter storm.  The chill was nasty, but he didn't feel cold.  He didn't feel anything.  His metal footsteps crunched into the distance, and with a strong gust of wind, he disappeared into the snow.

* * *

THE END

* * *


End file.
